Dealing with Disappointment

For all those students who didn't get what they want, this is my advice.

First, skip criticizing the directors or judges.  It doesn't do any good.

Second, avoid tearing down the people that got what you wanted.

Third, evaulate.

• Did you invest everything in preparing for this audition/performance opportunity? 
• Did you really practice?   
• Did you practice frequently, efficiently, effectively?  
• Did you record yourself (both audio and video) practicing your performance and then listen/watch taking notes of things that you think you could have improved?  

If the answers are yes, then remind yourself that you did your best and the rest is out of your control.  Keep up the good work.  Keep digging into the details of technique and interpretation.  Keep putting yourself out there.  It may not be now or soon, but you will see the results.  

If the answers are no, then ask yourself another question.

• Was what you did instead of really refining your performance worth not getting this particular thing that you wanted?  

Sometimes the answer is yes, and if that's the case, just let go of the disappointment. You can't do everything perfectly, and you chose something that was more important to you. Priorities are good things.  If your answer was no, what can you change to make the next experience more successful?

It's the Little Things

Yes, I love watching my students progress and succeed.  But sometimes it's the little things that you really love.  For example, yesterday I sent an email about the Quarter 3 tuition payment being due on 1-24, and that afternoon a parent sent a check.  Another parent sent a check this morning.  In a few weeks, I'll be grumbling about the people that haven't paid yet, but today it makes me happy that 2 people took care of it immediately.

Today, I sent an email asking for some information from the students and in less than half an hour, the first student had responded.  Next week I'll be asking most students in person because high school kids just don't check email (even though I've asked them too), but this student checked and responded today.    I just received two other responses, still close to the half hour mark.  These are the kind of students that should ask me to write a recommendation letter.

And in a little over 6 minutes, this performance refocused my work.  Maybe I should clarify:  the amount of time spent listening was little.  The demands of the song and the artistry of the performers were anything but little.

Meanest Teacher Part???

My newest mean and cruel, but totally fun and helpful teaching strategy:
SOLFEGE WITH HAND SIGNS.

Seriously, I am loving this and can't believe I didn't do this earlier.

For years I've meant to get better at the hand signs, but it just didn't happen.  The kids learned the scale at the beginning of the year in choir class, so sometimes I would review it with them in lessons, but I never really used the hand signs as part of their sight-reading.  This year, I changed that.  At almost every lesson this year, we've done something with solfege and hand signs.  The kids are improving and since I practice with every lesson, every day, I'm getting better too.  Plus, the kids get to see me make mistakes and improve along with them and I think that helps a lot.  They know that they don't have to be perfect, they just have to keep working on it and keep improving.

This week, I made it harder.  Many of the kids are learning new songs, so not only did we learn the melody by singing on solfege, we did hand signs as we sang.  First we slowly sang on solfege with the hand signs.  Then when a phrase was pretty secure that way, we sang the real words and kept the hand signs going.  There has been lots of laughter and no tears, so I think that even though it is hard, this is a good thing.  We are learning together.

Viewing Teaching and Learning as Sacred and Holy

I am a teacher.  It's not something I choose to do.  It's not my job.  It is who I am at the core of my being.  I teach both voice lessons and tai chi.  I love singing and doing tai chi, but even if I couldn't do them anymore, I would still be a teacher.  They are simply the disciplines that I have chosen for now to express my identity, mission, and purpose.

After teaching two tai chi classes last week, I was flying high.  Emotionally, physically, psychologically  I felt great.  Why?  Was it because I was a brilliant teacher and communicated everything clearly and flawlessly?  Was it because the students immediately caught on to everything I demonstrated and repeated it without errors?  Absolutely not.  I was not the flawless teacher and they were not the flawless students.  But we were open to each other.  I observed and listened to what they needed, and they did their best to refine their moves in the way I asked.  Maybe we weren't flawless, but we were perfect in the sense that we all brought exactly what was needed to the situation.

There is an energy connection that takes place when teachers and students bring their best to the learning situation.  As I talked with a friend about this connection, she said, "I think that teaching and learning are sacred, and when approached that way, magical things happen."  I couldn't have said it better.  Magic happened that day in class, and I've seen it hundreds of times in voice lessons.  But it's not there for every lesson, so I decided to see what I could do to bring that magic into play more often.

The key is to make it a sacred and holy experience.  (This is where I scare a few people off.  Be patient and keep reading.  I promise I don't make my kids pray during lessons).  When I used to teach class voice, we discussed the 6 areas of health--Social, Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual.  Some students would panic at that last one.  "You want me to be all churchy?"  No.   When looking at the spiritual as part of your health, I define it as having an understanding of who you are, and what your purpose is.  For some that will involve organized religion.  For other it will not.  I want to use sacred and holy in a similar way here.

From Merriam-Webster, I would like to use these two definitions for this discussion of sacred.

entitled to reverence and respect 
highly valued and important

When I treat my students with respect, when I approach the art form with reverence and respect and teach my students of its value and importance, I am making voice lessons or tai chi classes a sacred experience.  Sacred can also refer to anything related to the divine or the temple of the divine.  As a teacher I can recognize the divine in all my students.  When I see them as the truly great beings that they really are, I make voice lessons or tai chi classes sacred experiences.

I love this definition of holy from the Wikipedia article on "sacred".  Holy is health, completeness, happiness, wholeness.  It's everything that I want for myself and my students.  

So how can I daily approach my teaching to make sure that it is a sacred and holy thing?  To make sure that the magic happens?

1.  It begins with my attitude.  I have to approach each lesson as an opportunity for me to learn more about that student and the unique properties of his or her voice.  When I am engaged as a learner, I am a better teacher.  I've long since given up the idea that the teacher knows everything and the student knows nothing.  (I would have learned a lot more from my teachers if I had abandoned that idea years ago).  We are never solidly in one role or the other.  
2.  I am the expert on voices in general, but the student in front of me is the expert on that particular voice.  They live with it 24/7.  Asking questions about how it sounded or felt to them makes them a part of the process.  Asking what they think they need to work on let's them feel like that are tackling the big issues and moving forward.  And sometimes, their request works as a springboard into other approaches to technique and interpretation.  I am a guide, not a dictator.  

More love.  More learning.  More magic.  

My 2013 Voice-related New Year's Resolution

We'll see how long this lasts.  Maybe all year, maybe a few days.  Here it is.

This year, I will sight-read, play through, or listen to one new song each day.

It's time to push the boundaries, to expose myself to more new things, to find more beauty in the world. I'm looking forward to it.  Feel free to post recommendations.