Goodbye Micheal

When I was a teenager in the 80's, I listened to a variety of music (classical, musical theatre, light pop/rock) but most of it was on the clean side--not too loud, obnoxious, or vulgar. My brother on the other hand, listened to heavy metal and a lot of stuff that I have trouble even calling music. One day, he brought his boombox upstairs and played us a song without telling us who the performer was. It was a beautiful ballad, and both my mother and I had to admit we liked it. Then he dropped the bomb and taught us the lesson. The performer was Ozzy Osbourne (or someone equally vile and disgusting) and I had admitted that I liked his work. It was a good lesson. We cannot make blanket judgements about a certain type of music or a certain performer or composer; we really have to look at each song individually to determine its value.

Micheal Larsen was just a little kid in a town far away when I learned this lesson. I don't know if he knew then the place that music would play in his life or if it was something that developed later. I know that when I met him, he was already a professional musician, touring and recording. He came to me for voice lessons, but I think I learned almost as much from him as he did from me.

I'm always a little hesitant when the first conversation I have with a student involves them telling me that they are in a band. Quite frankly, most of those people already on the professional track for this kind of music would be better helped by someone else, and I tell them that. I also tell them what I can and cannot do to help them. Rap is definitely not my thing, and there was nothing I could teach Micheal about it. But, there were other things that I could teach him and he wanted to learn.

Micheal wanted to broaden the scope of what he could do vocally. Our lessons were unique. I've never had another student that actually wanted to spend 30+ minutes of his 45 minute lesson singing solfege exercises to improve his music reading, tuning, and general vocal technique. We talked about how the concept of the vowel, its space and the sound you imagine, change the tone color. We talked about how different emotions and attitudes affect the sound. He sang solfege exercises like a lullaby or like a rant and felt how his production of the tone was changed by the meaning of what he sang. He had a huge range, both in terms of the high and low notes he could hit, and the diverse styles he could perform. All the news articles are using words like hip hop or rap when they discuss his work, but I heard so much more than that in his lessons. Had he chosen the classical music path, he would have been wonderfully successful in that area too.

Often, Micheal would bring in recordings for me to listen to. Sometimes they were examples of a tone color or vocal effect he wanted to learn. Sometimes he wanted me to hear the style of the songs and understand how they were influencing his compositions. Strangely, we didn't really listen to much rap. Most of the songs he played for me, like the one my brother played, I never would have found on my own, but I really liked them.

Micheal was a deep thinker. Our conversations were often about music related things, but occassionally we would get off on a tangent and explore something else entirely. I enjoyed the intellectual stimulation. I looked forward to lessons with a student that taught me and challenged me as a teacher to expand my views.

If you don't know Micheal, check out this story from MPR. It is one of the best I've found. This quote from the article really describes the Micheal I knew.

"I know it made me want to practice, want to get better, want to make this my
craft, and realizing that it is a craft, that it is something that needs time
and skill and growth and development to really become a good musician," he said.
Wanke says in his music Eyedea was almost like a teacher, determined to show
people it was okay for them to explore their brain and test ideas. To Wanke,
that made Eyedea's records less a collection of rap tunes and more a journey
toward enlightenment.

To be honest, I'm not sure I really knew the man that his fans and band mates knew. But I'm so glad that I had the opportunity to know this man and learn from him. I'm even developing an appreciation for rap--at least when it is done as artfully as Eyedea did it.

October voice lesson announcements

Dear students and parents,
We're off to a great start this year. I've enjoyed meeting the new students and getting to know their voices. And of course, I love jumping into a new year and new goals with the returning students.

Emails
As you've noticed, I will be emailing lesson notes and song melodies and accompaniments to help you practice better at home. Also, I will periodically send emails like this one with information about coming events. Please keep your contact information up to date on the website and remember to check your email at least once a week.

Lesson Schedule
Due to days off school, choir concerts, and our studio class, the remaining weeks of this quarter will not be regular weeks as far as lessons are concerned. At this point, the website is not completely accurate regarding the schedule. The schedules for the rest of this quarter on my bulletin board. The most up to date schedule will always be there. Please get in the habit of checking the board. I will also remind you each week when I will be seeing you next. If you have missed a lesson and would like to make it up, you are responsible for signing up for a makeup lesson time. See me if you have any questions about how to do that.

Forms and Tuition
Most of you have turned in your forms and tuition, but if you are among those that haven't, please do so immediately. Each student should have turned in the Voice Student Information Form, Performance Survey, and the Policy Signature form.
Seniors, you should also turn in the forms about college auditions ASAP so that we can begin working on that material.

Please plan ahead for the Nov. 12 due date for Quarter 2 tuition. I did not charge late fees this quarter, but those go into effect for Quarter 2. I will not charge a late fee if you work out a payment plan with me.

Auditions and Performance Opportunities

Hal Leonard is sponsoring a vocal competition involving YouTube. Go to this link for more information http://www.halleonard.com/vocalcomp/
If you are interested in this, I will help you choose and prepare the required repertoire, but I do not have the equipment to make the videos, so you will be responsible for that.

On Nov. 11 we will have our first studio class of the year. All students should plan to attend either during their EVHS choir class, or after school. The after school session officially starts at 2:30, but students coming from other schools can arrive later and we will work them in.

If you want to perform at studio class, you need to turn in a Performance Application (found on the website after you login) and the homework it lists by Oct. 28. If you have questions about the homework, ask them now, not on Oct. 27 at 10PM.

Thanks,
Jeannine Robinett








-- Posted from my iPhone

The illusion of perfection

In Amanda White's article in the September 2010 issue of Classical Singer she addresses some of the Internet and social media sources used by musicians in the popular music world and how they can, or should not be used by classical singers. The article is great and I agree with her assessments of these tools, but at the same time, I am disturbed by her general response that unless it shows you at your very best, you don't want it out there. To be fair, this is the prevailing attitude in the classical music world, so it is not Ms. White that I am arguing with.

I recently read Lynn Eustis' book The Singer's Ego. Loved it! It should be a "must read" for singers. My response to the book was this--I've thought that for years, but we're trained not to express doubts or fears, or let anyone know that we are anything but the very best at what we do.

Singers need to know that we all have doubts. We all have works-in-progress. We desperately need to discuss these things and know that we are not alone. What academia and the professional world does to singers in terms of mind games would be viewed as abuse in other disciplines.

I want students to talk about the reality of what it is we do without worrying about being viewed as a lesser musician because of our doubts or our less than polished performances.

But on the other hand, what does the nature of the art demand? What standards of excellence do we need to hold to in order to teach respect for the art?

In many ways, the explosion of Karaoke has been good. Otherwise shy people will get up and sing because they know that the expectation is not high. Karaoke gets the world singing. It has created a culture though, where my students feel entitled to the stage rather than earning their place on it. They think that knowing the right notes and words means that they are performance ready. But the music, the art, asks more of us.

So, I continue to struggle with how to teach artistry without creating head cases. How do you stretch them without making them feel inferior? I don't have all the answers, but I know that we can acknowledge and even value the struggles. We can show them the goal. We can teach excellence. And, we can love and nurture them. A dear friend of mine reminds me that although our titles say voice instructor, we are first and foremost teachers of people, not voices. Maybe that is where the answer lies-- in valuing both the art and the person.





-- Posted from my iPhone

Letting go

Today I received some amazing news. In many ways, I already feel happier, lighter, and more excited about teaching. But this news also brings a challenge.

The choir directors have reworked how they are dividing the duties of making this large department function well. And as part of that, they decided that they need to cover the organizational stuff related to running the voice program (assigning students to teachers, masterclass day, solo and ensemble contest, all-state auditions, etc.) and just let me teach. The good news is that I was doing a lot of stressful work for the department without any monetary compensation and now I don't have to worry about it.

On the other hand, although some of the work was dumped on me, some I took on voluntarily to make teaching and learning here a more positive experience. I'm a little nervous about some of those details and how they will be dealt with in the future, but I'm also viewing it as a chance for me to learn to let go and trust.

The first two tests of my ability to let go will happen very soon. One of the reasons I agreed to do the assigning of students was so that I could make sure I had enough students. By the end of the second week, I'll know what is happening there.

The second test will be studio rotation. I've always made a rotation schedule so all the teachers get a chance at the good room and no one gives all their lessons in the tiny modules. I don't know if someone will take care of this or not. My guess is that it will be a free for all, kind of like this summer. If you're the 1st one here, you get the good space. It's actually a great motivator to get here early.

So, I've been doing this for over a decade and it's time to let go. Since I won't be organizing anything, my January through mid-April should be much nicer. I just have to prepare my students for all the performances those months. That I can do. And I think I will be even better at it without all the other stuff to stress me out.




-- Posted from my iPhone

Karl Paulnack's Welcome Address

In case you didn't catch this in the September/October 2010 Journal of Singing, here's a link to the Boston Conservatory page:
http://www.bostonconservatory.edu/s/940/Bio.aspx?sid=940&gid=1&pgid=1241

This is why I am a musician!


-- Posted from my iPhone

Playing for my students

I have a 2 tier "club" system for evaluating the expressiveness of my students' singing and admission to these "clubs" is hard to get. Club 2 is when the student in singing so expressively that they make me change the way I play (I become more expessive because of how they sing). Club 1 is when they give me goosebumps or make me cry.

Recent reading has made me remember that I also have the power as an accompanist to influence the expessivity of the singer. When I am only the accompanist, and don't have to be voice teacher as well, this is much easier to do. Sometimes when I am listening for technical issues my playing becomes more of just hitting the right notes in the right rhythms rather than creating music. My goal is to be more attentive to the possibilities of expression in the piano part from the very beginning of the student's learning process and thus encourage them to be expressive earlier.

In an article in the May 2010 Choral Journal, Tammy Miller discusses how an accompanist of a children's choir can aid the director in teaching expressivity. While playing parts to help the students learn the notes, an accompanist can model appropriate phrasing and articulation. I love this quote, "Quite simply, they will sing what I play the way I play it; they are easily influenced."

I've been reading Martin Katz's The Collaborative Pianist and have been pleasantly surprised to find that much of what he is telling the accompanists about building an interpretation is very similar to what I tell my singers. At first, my response was, "But isn't that the singer's choice to make?" But then I realized that he's right. If both the singer and the accompanist come to the rehearsal with interpretive ideas, it truly becomes more of a collaboration. The accompanist and singer can feed off the energy and emotions the other is bringing, creating a much more dynamic performance.

So now the question becomes, "How can I play differently in lesssons, from the first day of learning pitches, to help my students be more expressive?" I think I've already started to revise how my students learn a song. At the end of the last school year, I revised my Microwave Memorization method to involve not just learning notes and words quickly, but to include technique and interpretation from the very beginning. (To view the handout on this, click the Resources tab on my website www.jeanninerobinett.com)

My other goals are:
1. Always play melodies with expression (phrase shaping, dynamics, articulation, and meaning). They will sing it the way they hear it. If I bang, they will sound bad too.
2. Remember to ask them when we begin a new song what they think the song is about. We can further refine the interpretation in future lessons, but they need at least a general idea to get them started.
3. Practice committing to the interpretation AND listening for technical difficulties at the same time.

I started this post by explaining the 2 "clubs" to which my students aspire. Here are the 2 "clubs" that I'm working towards: Club 2--Inspire my students to be expressive by making every note that they hear me play expressive. Club 1--Give my students opportunities for goosebumps and crying as I demonstrate how beautiful those same old folk songs or Italian arias can be.




-- Posted from my iPhone

Put down the ducky

Once again, I apologize that blogging from my phone doesn't allow all the same helpful features as if I was at my computer. But here is a great link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMAixgo_zJ4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

It's a lot of fun, plus it says something important to music students: Sometimes being a musician requires a sacrifice and we have to temporarily give up something really important to us to achieve our dreams. But we don't have to give it up forever, we can pick it back up again later.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Questions and answers about my studio

On the Music Teacher's Helper Forum, a teacher posted a list of questions in the introductions section. I spent some time coming up with answers and decided that I might as well use this as a blog post. His questions reminded me of a survey I was putting together last year to learn more about how other voice teachers teach and run their businesses. I'll post those questions and my own answers sometime in the future. For now, here are my answers to the questions on the MTH forum:

1. Your name (or remain anonymous).
Jeannine Robinett
www.jeanninerobinett.com

2. Instrument(s) taught and/or voice?
I used to teach piano and organ too, but now my studio has grown enough that I can focus on what I do best and love most--teaching voice.

3. Years of teaching experience? Your age?
I am 40 years old and have been teaching voice for 17 or 18 years.

4. Did you have formal teacher training?
I have B.M. and M.M. degrees in vocal performance and my course work for both included classes in vocal pedagogy. In addition, I started out as an elementary ed major and completed many of the required courses there before switching to music.

5. Typical high and low numbers of students during the year? Approximate number of hours spent teaching each week?
I teach between 60 and 100 students during the school year and about half that during the summer. When I have close to 100 students, it is usually because I am teaching several small groups (3-6 students sharing a lesson). I have 28-35 hours of student contact time per week during the school year.

6. Do you perform? If so, roughly what percentage of your musical income/time is spent performing vs. teaching?
I have not done much performing professionally in the last 10 years, but I am currently preparing a recital.

7. Do you teach music privately or are you an employee of a school (or both)? If teaching privately, do you use a home studio or rent elsewhere? If a school, what kind?
I am a private contractor that works in a public school. Technically I own my own business. The students pay me directly, but I teach at the school. Students leave their choir classes or study halls for lessons.

8. Do you have paid work other than music teaching? If so, What do you do? How much time do you spend teaching music compared with other work? Is this by necessity or preference?
With the exception of the occassional performance or adjudication, my income is entirely from teaching. I prefer this. Over the years I have been able to cut back on other work and also to condense my studio to one location and this has made my life much simpler and happier.

9. What are your rates? If you don’t mind, indicate the range of your monthly income from teaching music.
Tuition is $160 per quarter for half hour lessons which includes 7 lessons plus a studio class and/or recital. During the summer I charge $23 for half hour lessons and most students enrolled for summer take between 5 and 10 lessons.
Because most students pay quarterly, I have some months that are over $8,000 and some that are under $1,000. Since the size of my studio varies from year to year, the only way I can really figure out a monthly income is to add up the last year and divide by 12. It make my own personal budgeting rather complicated.

10. Do you limit what students you work with in terms of level, age, gender, style of music, etc.?
Although I do accept children, it is always on a trial basis. Generally I prefer to work with middle school aged students and older. I teach many styles, but reserve the right to "veto" any song a student brings in that is inappropipriate for them based on their age and vocal development. The foundation of what I teach is classical, and all my students receive some classical training even if it is only to compare it to other styles and techniques. I specialize in beginning and intermediate students, but also teach advanced and professional singers. If they need more than I feel that I can give them, I send them on to someone else.

11. Do you have student recitals? If so, how often? Are they encouraged or required of students?
I have a recital at the end of the school year plus an informal Holiday recital/party. Students also have the opportunity to perform at 3 studio classes held throughout the year. Performance is encouraged, but not required. However, studio classes and recitals are part of their tuition package and I don't give refunds if they choose not to participate.

12. Do you prepare students for competitions or auditions?
All my high school students are given the opportunity to sing at the district Solo and Ensemble Contest. Sometimes other competition or audition experiences are offered to students meeting the entrance requirements. I prepare students for choir auditions, musical auditions, and any other auditions for school related events.

13. Do you teach private students or classes or both?
Most of my lessons are private lessons, but through the school, I also offer 2 person lessons and small group lessons.

14. Do you coach ensembles? If so, how large?
At this time, I only work with small ensembles (duets, trios, etc.) in preparation for Contest.

15. Do you teach at music camps?
I'm not currently connected to any camps, but would love to do more of this. Contact me if you know of any good opportunities.

16. Best experience(s) with students?
The best experiences are when I see my students succeed. Sometimes it's a big success, but often it's just those little light bulb moments when you know they get it.

17. Worst experience that comes to mind?
Having to tell a talented student that really wanted to learn that I couldn't teach her anymore until her divorced parents figured out who was going to pay the $355 that they already owed me. Especially in cases like this, I wish I could teach for free, but then how would I pay my bills?

18. Funniest experience?
We laugh and have a good time in lessons, but for some reason, I can't think of any really funny experiences.

19. What is most rewarding to you about teaching?
Watching students grow. Even the little steps forward are exciting to me. Sometimes the most rewarding lessons are not the ones of the star students, but the ones where the kid finally sings a phrases matching all of the pitches correctly. I love teaching the kids that frustrate other teachers.

20. What is most challenging?
The most challenging aspect of teaching is dealing with the students and the parents that want instant miracles, that don't understand that learning to sing well takes time, effort, and patience.

21. Have you ever felt burnt out at any time, and if so, what did you do about it?
I lived in burnout mode for several years. For me, burnout was a result of overworking. Even if you love what you do, too much of it can kill you. Over the past 5 years or so, I voluntarily cut back giving up about $13,000 of income per year. Financially, life is a little trickier, but I feel better, and I am a better teacher. I've also invested my time and money in things that feed me, like conventions, continuing education classes, and Tai Chi classes.

22. Are you a member of a professional organization?
I am a member of NATS, ACDA, MTNA and MMTA.

23. Do you attend conferences, workshops, lessons or classes for your own professional development?
Absolutely! This year I attended 3 conferences/conventions. Yes, it's expensive, but it is so worth it.

24. When teaching, do you use published materials, your own materials, or both?
I use many of the same voice anthologies that most voice teachers use. I have a huge personal music library plus a lending library for students who cannot afford to purchase music. On my studio website, students can access numerous handouts that I have prepared on voice related topics.

25. Do you use recordings in teaching?
Yes, I have students listen to professional recordings and I also record students singing at their lessons and have them listen to it.

26. Do you advertise?
My advertising is minimal. At the beginning of the school year, I attend Open House and Orientation, and go to the choir classes to talk to students and their parents about lessons. I also let the teachers at our school plus the middle schools know when I have openings in case they have students that ask about lessons. My website might serve as advertising, but I haven't paid any fees to make sure that it comes up at the top of searches.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Accompanists

I've been asked to speak to a group of music teachers in a couple of months about accompanying. I can go any direction I want, but it was suggested that I might want to include training young accompanists. As I considered what I want to talk about, I decided that it might be best to structure my comments using my own musical history.

As I started making a list of people, events, and experiences that helped me to learn to accompany, I made a somewhat unsettling discovery: I received the training and nurturing that I needed as a young accompanist because I went to schools that couldn't afford to hire professional accompanists and coaches, and the church I attended does not hire professional musicians. I was given opportunities as an accompanist because there was no one else to do it.

I now live in an area where schools and churches hire professional musicians. In many ways, this is a good thing. The quality of the performances is better, and musicians are able to make money doing what we have invested a great deal of time and money in learning to do. I believe musicians should be paid, but what opportunities for training the next generation are missed when we hire professionals? Is there a way to hire professionals, maintain a high level of artistry, AND give young people the opportunities they need to learn?

Then the question becomes why should we teach young people to be accompanists? If that is truly the profession they want, there are many wonderful collaborative piano programs at the University level. Do students need collaborative experience prior to college? What about those that won't be pursuing this as a career, those students whose adult musical experiences will be avocational at best? Should we teach them to accompany and if so, why? What purpose will it serve?

Although I do occassionally take an accompanying gig, this is not my main source of income. However, the experiences I have had as an accompanist have shaped who I am as a musician, teacher, and human being.

Here is one small example from my accompanying "career" that changed me in more ways than just making me a better accompanist. Weston Noble is a big name in the choral world, especially here in the Midwest. When I was a student, and the choir accompanist, at Idaho State University, he came for a festival or clinic, or some similar event. I don't really remember the details, but I remember how he changed my life. I've always been really good at "following", but he encouraged me to do more. He taught me to be open to the music and how to work with him collaboratively, not merely follow his beat pattern. I don't really even remember what he said, but it changed the way I viewed the music, the way I viewed the performance experience, and the way I viewed myself. For a big event like that, perhaps they should have brought in someone with better technique and more experience, but I am very glad they didn't. And because they didn't I learned about trust.

I will never play as well as my accompanist/coach. She is amazing. But does that mean that I shouldn't call myself an accompanist or that I shouldn't play for groups or soloist when I am needed? Absolutely not! Yes, we need amazing accompanists and coaches, but there are places in the world where those of us that are just pretty good can do just fine. There are even times when those who doubt their skills can be great.

Watch for future posts as I explore who we should teach to accompany and why.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Making a Difference

The August 2010 issue of Minnesota Women's Press (see www.womenspress.com) celebrates the 90th anniversary of women's right to vote. When I learned that it took over 70 years to get the 19th Amendment passed and the work that generations of women did to bring this about, it made me think once again about what I am doing to make a difference in the world. Is it enough? How much longer might it have taken if fewer women had spoken up? How much sooner might we have been given this right if more women had taken a stand?

With a few minor exceptions, I am healthier than I have been in over 20 years. The last several years have been about me focusing on the things that will bring peace and health to my life. I know I can't return to the overcommitted and stressful life I used to live, but is there room in my life to do something more to make a difference?

I love my current job, and don't see myself leaving it in the near future, but it was never my intent to spend my life here. This was a temporary job to pay the bills and help me gain valuable experience. The real dream, and the one that I still see at some point in my future is running my own non-profit arts school where all students, regardless of ability or financial situation, can have a life changing experience with the arts. I've seen a lot of kids miss out on these opportunities simply because there was no money to pay for them. I know teachers that only want to teach the best and the brightest because the are the most fun to teach and they make the teacher look good.

Yes, I do love it when one of my "stars" succeeds, but I know that some of my most rewarding moments as a teacher have been in seeing the growth in those students that some other teachers might label hopeless. And the growth I'm talking about is not just vocal. In my early years as a voice teacher, I had an adult student that was going through some major struggles and life changes. As we worked on a hymn we talked about what those words meant to her, especially with the situations she was dealing with. She chose to sing this song at the recital. Afterwards, an audience member (who is also a voice teacher) told me how touched she had been by this student's performance. Technically, it wasn't the best performance on the program, but because this woman sang from her heart and let us know what she knew, it was the most beautiful performance on the program. That is why I teach--to help students find the beauty and to help them know how to share it.

Last month I had a great talk with a friend, fellow voice teacher, and one of my teachers and mentors about my dream. At that point, I was really in the "I need to do more" mode. She reminded me of how important what I'm doing right now is. The students that I'm teaching now will take the things they learn (whether it is technique, discipline, music appreciation, or any number of things) and use them and share them throughout their lives. She made a difference in my life, and because she did, I am now making a difference in the lives of my students. OK, I will admit that some will leave my studio having changed very little if at all, but whatever influence I do have will continue to echo through generations.

In the past two weeks, I've heard from two different people (that didn't really stand out in my memory) that I had made a difference. They were still using tools that I taught them. Even more than the talk with my friend, these incidents reminded me of the difference I can make, that I do make, every single day.

But the question still remains--Is there more that I can do? Are there bigger issues that I can and should be taking a stand on? When is the right time, both in my life and in the history of the cause for me to become actively involved? Can I simply share what I feel and believe, or do my actions and how I choose to spend my time need to say something about what is important to me? Are rallies, marches, and hunger strikes in my future? How far am I willing to go, what am I willing to risk to make a difference?





-- Posted from my iPhone

What I do has value

I just read this article http://esswellness.com/news/newsitem.aspx?newsid=868&newsitemid=4615
and was impressed by how easily I could substitute my teaching every time he refers to healing. For starters, although the primary goals of voice lessons is not healing, I think anyone that really invests themselves in the art eventually finds healing.

The author, Timothy Cope, addresses several issues that people making their livings as healers have to deal with. He talks about how difficult it is to find that perfect rate for our services where we are not asking too much and exploiting our clients, or asking too little and exploiting ourselves. This is tricky. In some ways I am glad that the school sets my fees. Since the students at school are the majority of my students, I just charge my non-school students the same amount. Based on my education and experience, I would be comfortable charging more, but I don't need to. What does get tricky though is every few years when I approach the vocal music staff about raising our rates. I understand that we want to keep things affordable, but the parents and the salaried staff need to understand that we don't get a cost of living increase each year. The good news is, I think our rates are fine for at least a couple more years. Now I just need to make sure I have enough students.

Which brings me to one of Cope's other points. We are dependent on our clients (or students). We need them so we can pay the rent. I love this sentence, or maybe hate it, or perhaps it just scares me because it is true: "Further thoughts, barely audible to our own awareness, may whisper suggestions on how to encourage our clients coming back, perhaps not so much because it is in their best interests, but because it seems to be in ours."

As a young teacher with a ton of debt, every student that wanted to change teachers or take a break was not just a blow to my ego, but a severe stress on my financial situation as well. On the outside, I think I handled things quite professionally, but on the inside I was desperately trying to come up with ways to make it work for them to keep taking lessons, even when I knew that staying with me was not in their best interest or in mine in any way other than financially.

I'm proud to report that I'm growing up. I think I am better able to help students make the decision that is best for them. Here us an example. I have a young student that is also a dancer. This fall, she will be doing dance team at school, studio dance, and her choir at church which basically means that Monday through Friday she will be on the go from 7am to 9pm. Her mother emailed to ask if she could take a break from lessons until dance team is over in a couple of months. My brain first thought of how much money I would lose if she took 2 months off. Then the smarter, more mature, more caring teacher took over (thank goodness). If I say no and insist that she continue studying, I will be adding incredible stress to a young student's life. If she is stressed out and sleep deprived, she will not sing well. It is in her best interest to take this break. What I can do is make these next few lessons the kind of experience that makes her want to come back. I can also give her some little things she can do during the break to help maintain the skills she has already developed. I made a choice based on what is best for her, and I know in the long run, that it will also be the best choice for me.

Cope also talks about sacred exchange saying, "vendor and healer, client and customer, are all sacred beings and what passes between them is sacred too". I truly view my "job" not just as a way to make money, but my true calling, what I was brought here to do. Though we don't often discuss religion, or even things of a spiritual nature in lessons, I believe that what I do is sacred. Singing is so very personal and vulnerable, that if I fail to see to true worth of that person standing in front of me, I cannot truly be the teacher they need. Seeing my part of the exchange as sacred is not new to me. Seeing that check I receive as sacred is a new idea that I think I like.

Finally, Cope has this to say about our businesses, "Perhaps we need to devote as much time to understanding the subtleties and complexities of business as we do our healing disiplines and modalities". I've spent a lot of time and an obscene amount of money this year attending conferences and learning more about the voice and teaching singing. What would my business be like if I invested the same time, money, and energy in learning about business? Personally, I would just like to show up in the studio and teach and have someone else deal with all the other stuff. But that won't be a reality anytime soon, so I need to find ways to make this sacred service that I give also be a profitable business.

-- Posted from my iPhone

The student is the method and fact based pedagogy

I had a wonderful time at the NATS Conference in July and came away excited to apply the new things I learned and refine my approach to some of my ideas that were reinforced.

During the course of the conference, several references were made to Scott McCoy's term "fact based pedagogy". In a masterclass, Stephen King said something to the effect of "the student is the method" meaning that our pedagogy needs to be specific to the technical needs (and I will add learning styles) of the student we are working with at that moment; there is no "One size fits all". I also loved the bodymapping sessions with Kurt-Alexander Zeller and bought the book What Every Singer Needs To Know About the Body.

It is these 3 ideas that I want to explore together in this post: fact based pedagogy, the singer is the method, and bodymapping, specifically as it is approached in the book listed above.

First, let me start by saying that "the student is the method" has been my approach for a very long time. All though some of my teachers were "one size fits all" teachers, as an accompanist I had the opportunity to play in many studios and learned from that experience that there were multiple valid approaches (and some crazy ones) to working with any issue or student.


I've also learned that some of the worst instructions I ever received, that totally messed up my singing, can actually help some students in some situations. I'll explain more later as I discuss the "vocal myths" presented in the bodymapping book.

Although my students could get together and compare notes and find many similarities in the things we discuss, no 2 students are taught in exactly the same way. If fact, sometimes the instructions I give to one student are the exact opposite of those I give to another. For example, I have 2 students (brother and sister) that come to lessons together. It's not ideal since their voices are very different, but it is what the family can afford. I try to discuss the general principle (fact based pedagogy) and them give them each specific instructions on what they need to work on at this point in their development towards that goal. The boy has some definite talent, but likes a pushed belty (not healthy belt) sound, plus he has had vocal nodes in the past. We're working on lightening the tone, and as part of that, I asked him to sing his song quieter. His sister is also quite talented. She studied with me last year in a group setting and has already learned a lot. She is at the point where she needs to think about more energy and singing louder to really help her find that head voice resonance. Being cautious and careful and quiet just gets her into trouble. I don't usually like to give instructions regarding volume, but like her brother, she responds well to that, so I have asked her to sing louder, monitoring for tension and pain (which would be signs that she is too loud or creating the volume the wrong way).

My only critique of What Every Singer Needs to Know About the Body is that fact that some of the information is presented as "the one and only right way". I love this book. I think that understanding how the body functions can help us greatly in creating freer and more beautiful tone. I'm a science nerd and find learning about anatomy fascinating. But, some of my students will not respond well to what they perceive as overly technical information and might respond better to imagery, or other techniques. I think that if I know this information, I can use it to better help my students in whatever way they learn best.

I love MaryJean Allen's chapter "The Core of the Body and the Six Places of Balance". I do believe that understanding this will eliminate the need for some of what she calls "posture myths". But, I also understand where these come from. I think the danger is when they are taken to extremes. Here are her myths (in bold) and my responses (in italics):

• Stand up "straight" as if the spine were a straight, solid broomstick. I actually agree that this is a myth we need to get rid of and I have found no situation yet where this has been helpful.
• Lift the sternum high. Again, proper alignment and understanding of breathing will eliminate the need for this, but when the sterum seems to approach the belly button and move 6 inches into the body, sometimes the easiest thing to say is to lift the sternum. Yes, some students will take it too far and arch the back and tighten muscles. The problems she presents with this myth are, I believe, a case of a student taking a good thing too far.
• Roll the shoulders back and/or hold them down. If a student's shoulders are hunched forward, don't we need some feeling of moving back in order to bring them into alignmen?. Again, this is a good thing taken too far, and then taught as "the one and only right way" by teachers that don't understand the principle behind it.
• Tuck the pelvis under. Maybe I don't need to do comments on every myth, since most of the comments will be the same or very similar. I tend to lock my knees and end up in butt out position. Tucking the pelvis reminds me of alignment, but if taken too far, will actually pull me out of alignment in the other direction.

So here's my take on the last 3 items: I believe that bodymapping (and fact based pedagody) is the way to go and will give the best results in the long term. However, it takes awhile to explore and figure out your map. Teachers use these as quick fixes; some of them understand the alignment principles behind them and some don't. Students that don't understand the principle learn these "rules" and think that that is the way it should be and teach it, without checking for how these can cause other problems in addition to fixing the first problem.

I have great respect for school choral directors and would not want their jobs for all the money in the world. However, some of these choir directors and other voice teachers take a few years of lessons and believe they are qualified to teach vocal technique when really they are just repeating "rules" someone else told them without truly understanding the principles. It is these teachers that create voices with problems. It is these teachers that we need to be educating. At the conference, Scott McCoy spoke of the recent change in the NATS membership application process eliminating the requirement for letters of recommendation. One of the reasons for this change is that there are a lot of teachers in the world; we can exclude those that we don't think are good enough, or we can bring them into the fold and teach them to be better teachers.

The next errors/myths sections is in Melissa Malde's chapter "The Singer's Breath". Again, the information presented here is very clear. It helped me to more fully understand some aspects of breathing.

Breathing Errors

• Tanking up. Taking in more breath than you need for the phrase is very common in singers and leads to all sorts of unnecessary tension...Only take in the breath you need. Use all the breath you take in. My argument here is that since I work with mostly young beginning students, most of them really do not take in enough breath. Again, we need to have the students monitor for tension and we need to be watching them to see if they are overdoing it. I believe that the statement "Use all the breath you take in" can also be taken to extremes by students. I have students that sing through 3 or 4 rests (or countless punctuation marks) because they still have breath and don't need to breathe yet. I also have students that think you need to push out that extra air with a puff before you can breath again, creating a coughing noise at the end of each phrase. It's about balance.
• Keeping your ribs out during exhalation. Yes, I agree that we cannot keep the ribs completely out all the time, but I do think that trying to helps train the muscles that help us regulate the breath flow. (Again, check that you're not creating extra tension.). To put it really simply, I believe breath support is the "stay big" muscles saying no to the "collapse in immediately" muscles. Maybe this works better as imagery than as how the body works in fact.
• The diaphragm is perpendicular to the floor. Totally agree here. This is a factual error! I can't begin to tell you all the strange stories I hear about the diaphragm. I would bet that 90% or more of the new students I get know (from a former teacher, choir director, friend, etc.) that you need to use the diaphragm when you sing. I'm not sure I've ever had a student that knew what that meant though. OK, a few thought they knew, but they clearly had no idea where it was or what it does.
• The ribs are immovable. Again, I totally agree that this is an error. I'm glad this one was in the book for two reasons: first, I need to watch for students who believe this, and second, although I knew that the ribs do move, I learned that there is far more mobility available than I had believed.
• Pushing out with the abdominals will bring about inhalation. OK, yes, I am agreeing again and maybe I have fewer arguments with the authors than I thought. This is a big error. Looking like Santa Claus has nothing to do with how much breath you are taking in. (On a side note, some students actually shift their weight forward at the hips to look like the abdominal region is enlarging, thus doing improper breathing and messing with alignment.) I think this is a misconception that comes about in choir (sorry to pick on the choir directors again). In a private lesson, we can check other things to make sure that a good breath is occuring. In choir, you may have 90 or more 9th graders that you are trying to teach about breathing. There is no way that you can make sure that every single one of them has a correct understanding of the principle.

Breathing Imagery

I love this quote from Malde,"Images may work for some singers. Other singers will take them literally and get confused. Never assume that an image that works for you will work for others. Any image that goes against the laws of anatomy and physiology is especially prone to produce movement that defies nature and induces injury."

Once again, here is my positition: Use whatever works for that student at that moment (imagery, technical information, imitation, etc.), while at the same time, making sure that the students understands what is actually physically happening (Ask them what changes physically when they think of that image or imitate that sound?). They also need to understand that today's imagery works for where the voice is today and if taken to an extreme (focused on exclusively while ignoring other issues) can cause problems in the opposite direction.

I appreciate Malde explaining the common misconceptions that occur with some types of breathing imagery. It gives the teacher things to watch for. Buy the book and read it. However, I think the thing that bothered me was that she seemed to imply (and maybe it's just the way I read it) that these kinds of things will mess up all singers for these reasons. It's seems to be another "One size fits all" or in this case "One size fits none." I don't like absolutes. Black and white keeps us from exploring and finding what will help each individual at the point they are in their journey.

So here is her list:

• Belly breathing
• Drinking in the breath or sipping breath through a straw
• Column of air
• Breathing down to your toes
• Filling an inner tube around your waist
• Filling up from the bottom
• Suprise breath
• Breathe through your belly button
• Back breathing.

One of my favorite stories from my teaching was a student that had this response when asked what she knew about breathing: "You don't breathe into your lungs; you breathe into your stomach." I pointed out, as does Malde, that any air that gets into the stomach does not help us sing well; it only makes us burp. We then talked about anatomy and how she had misunderstood what she had learned about deep breathing. (I really hope she misunderstood and that noone in any kind of teaching position actually told her not to breathe into her lungs!)

Malde's chapter, "Resonating the voice" is awesome. As a 40 year old singer and voice teacher, I was ready for the details of this chapter. I'm not sure how my baby high school beginner singers would respond to the information. I think that for young voices, often imagery and paying attention to sensations that occur with correct resonance is the best approach in this area. I do love what she has to say about the buccinator and masseter muscles and have had students do some of the exercises to become aware of these and release the tension. She explores 6 resonance images and their pitfalls. Again, these things may work for some people and may cause misintepretations and tension issues for others. The 6 images she lists are:

• Lofting a parachute in the back of the throat
• Feeling as if you could swallow a grapefruit
• Holding an egg at the back of the your mouth
• Placement in the mask
• Imagine a golf ball held by your upper and lower molars
• Lifing the checkbones

Actually, several of these images were new to me, and I thought I was the queen of imagery! Two thoughts: First, I actually was told at one point to do the grapefruit thing. Nothing could be further from right for my voice. I hate that image and swore never to use it. Then I had a student that I had tried everything with and the kid still couldn't find the right resonance space. I think I said something like this, "I hate this, but let's try it and see if it works," and it did! In the 17 or so years that I have been teaching, I think that the grapefruit image has only worked for 1 or 2 students, but it was the only thing that worked for them. So as much as I hate it personally, and as bad as it is for most people, I still keep it in my bag of tricks.

Second thought: In Zeller's chapter on physical expression, he addresses lifting the cheeks and eyebrows as resonance helpers in more detail, basically telling you that you are wasting time and energy because none of those muscles in any way affect the resonance. But...(here I go again) those images help some students. I can't tell you the exact physical mechanism by which it works, but sometimes it does. My theory is that by thinking of lifting the cheeks and the eyebrows, other body parts go along for the ride. I sometimes have my students open a slinky vertically while singing. That hand doing the lifting is not directly connected to the soft palate, but that motion does help to keep the soft palate lifted. Our brains are powerful tools. Asking for lift from any part of the body is bound to influence others as well. On the positive side, I whole-heartedly agree with Zeller that engaging cheek and forehead muscles for technical purposes can make you look really funny. Perhaps these should be used as tools to help us find what the resonance feels like and then when we know what it is, we can let those muscles go back to their primary function which should be expressiveness.

One final thing from the book and then I'll bring this to a close. In the appendix is a fabulous section by Barbara Conable on Performance Anxiety. Only once did she slam a technique that I occassionally use, and to be honest, on a certain level I agree with her, but for my baby beginners, it is a first step that gets them to be brave enough to make sounds in their voice lessons. Overall, I love her ideas and she ends the section with a list of tips for eliminating performance anxiety. The thing that I love is that everything is so positive. We can do so much for our students by creating safe places for them to experiment and grow and by giving them feedback in a positive way. People respond better when we are building them up. Solo and Ensemble Contest always worries me. We try to get judges we know and that we know work well with kids, but sometimes we bring in people with great reputations, but that we don't know personally. This past year we had a judge that gave sound technical advice on the things the students needed to work on, but several students, including a few of our "stars", came back to the homeroom feeling like failures because the judge had not said one positive thing to them. They got great scores, but there were several hours of torment as we waited for those scores because the students had not had a positive experience in the room.

So to wrap it up, here is WHAT I BELIEVE:
1. There is no "one right way." We need to find what works for each student that comes into our studio. The method we teach them is based on what they want to do and what they need to change to get there.
2. Teachers need a HUGE bag of tricks. If we truly want to approach each student as an individual, we can't just teach them the way our teachers taught us, and her teacher taught her, and her teacher taught her, etc. My student's issues are not all the same issues I dealt with. My issues were not the same as those my teachers had to overcome. If a former "swallower" teaches a student who is already peeling paint to bring the sound more forward, we end up in a really scary place.
3. Our bag of tricks absolutely must include a clear knowledge of how the body and the brain actually work. We might not teach all those details to every student, but we need to know what should be happening in order choose the correct tools from our bag of tricks.
4. Teachers can never stop learning. The minute you know it all, when you stop your own explorations, you close the door on things that might be just what the next student to walk into your studio needs.
5. We need to reach out to other teachers, not to convert them to our ways, but to learn from them. If they are willing to talk and share, chances are that even though we don't agree on everything, they just might know something that will make you a better teacher. NATS is just one way to connect.
6. I build people. Singing is fun. Singing well is thrilling. Yes, our students are paying us to help them be better singers, but they will get there a lot faster if we don't spend all of every lesson tearing them down. I've taught lots of lessons where I have been frustrated by a student's lack of preparation, their apathy, their resistance, and sometimes even by the seemingly insurmountable challenges they will have to overcome in order to ever sing "well". But I don't think I've ever taught a lesson where there truly was nothing that I could compliment the student on. My students will tell you that I'm tough, but I always try to point out the progress they are making and make sure that they leave feeling empowered rather than broken. That is why I chose not to pursue teaching in a music major program. I don't want to tell people that they aren't good enough. I don't build voices; I reveal them. I do build people.

Good week overall

I always worry when we have a week of spring break and then have to come back and prepare for Solo and Ensemble Contest in just 2 weeks. Somehow, that week of no lessons and very little if any practicing, causes students to regress 3 or 4 weeks in their preparedness. I am pleased to say that for the most part, that was not the case this week.

I must admit that all week I had trouble getting out of bed in time to get to work. It's funny how your body can get so used to sleeping in when you sleep in for a week. I was also really tired because Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were really long days. I basically came home and went to bed.

I was tired this week, but the lessons were great. I think some of the students might be getting bored with their songs now, but I love it when they know them well enough that I can actually work the details. I also recorded many of the students and had them tell me what they heard that they needed to work on. They hate to listen to themselves, but almost all of them can find issues to work on, even when their opinion of the performace before listening to it was that it was really good.

I also had two really good practice sessions of my own this week. I do something everyday, but I don't always have the time and energy to really work. A few of the songs on my recital are really technically difficult for me because of how they sit in my voice. I'm still considering doing them in other keys, but for now, I want to see how much I can improve them in these keys by just really working the technique. Last night I had a great practice session. It was so good that I didn't want to stop working. On my good days, it's hard to remember not to over do it.

I hope next week goes as well as this one. Solo and Ensemble Contest is on Saturday, so there will lots of organizational stuff that needs to be done in addition to teaching the lessons and making sure the kids are prepared.

Learners vs. Learned

"In times of change, learners inherit the world - while the learned remain beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists." --Eric Hoffer

I just found this quote and I love it.

To me, this quote means that to know a lot is great and wonderful, but in order to really grow and thrive, we need to keep learning. Learning must be an ongoing process. We can't depend on the knowledge we gained last week, or last year. We have to keep learning the things that will help us right now.

To be learned is good if they hearken unto the counsels of God. 2 Nephi 9:26
All the knowledge of the world is useless unless we can be open to new knowledge (from God or any other source) that enables us accomplish the things that are most important at that time. But, no knowledge is ever wasted. Everything we know provides a foundation for what we will learn in the future. Everything we encounter is colored by what we know.

One of the things I love about being a singer is that every time I sing a song it is different from any other time I have sung it. Each performance is colored by the new things I have learned about my voice and my life experiences. To expect or even desire to give a performance that is just like another is not only not realistic, it also will lead to stagnant, boring performances. Performances are fresh and engaging when we've practiced and learned all the details, but then allow ourselves to be open to the needs, emotions, and energy of the moment--to learn and experience as we go.

I am learned. I hope to always remain a learner.

I learned something new

Today, I learned that one possible cause of nasality is huge tonsils. A student was really struggling today and no matter what I asked her to do, we could not get rid of the nasality. Finally I sent her to the mirror to see what her tongue looks like in the ng position and what it looks like down. I looked too and realized that even with her tongue down, it is touching her huge tonsils and there is hardly any space back there.

Anyway, now I know to check tonsils when nasality is a major problem.


-- Posted from my iPhone

I finally found the songs to complete my recital program

I think I have finally figured out what to do with this recital I've been planning. I had a bunch of songs that I really love, but most of them were depressing and slow and I knew that an audience might not like a whole program of that as much as I would. On Friday, I finally got the music that my coach had recommended nearly 6 months ago. I spent Saturday translating, and then went over to the school to play and sing through them. Not only do they add variety to the recital program, I love them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Too many exclamation points? No. I really do love them that much.) My voice is being quirky again--I can't decide if it's the allergies, or the meds to deal with them--but even with a voice that wasn't at its best, these songs sounded and felt great.

My biggest challenge and the saddest part of yesterday was narrowing down the huge list of potential recital songs. I read somewhere that editing your novel is sometimes like killing your children. That is kind of how I felt about dropping these songs. The good news is that just because they won't be on this recital doesn't mean I can never use them. I will sing them again sometime in the future. It's just hard to let go of them, even just for awhile, when I have grown to love them so much and they have taught me so much.

There may still be a few minor adjustments to make, but I think now that I have a program that will be musically satisfying for me and interesting for the audience. I finally have some variety in the tempo and mood. Now I just need to work on building the stamina for this big program. When I feel well, I am singing better than I ever have. Sometimes I'm even shocked at how beautiful it is. But on the days when I am fighting the pain, tension, and allergies, it takes a lot more time and patience to work it into that good place. And some days, I really am better off just not singing. All that makes it very difficult to find the consistency and build the stamina that I know I need.

I'm so excited about this new music that it's hard not to practice it. I love it when I have to force myself to stop singing.

Why singers should do their own translations

I love the fact that many song anthologies now come with translations and IPA for the songs. There are also several Internet programs and iPhone apps that will do the translating for you if you can't find it in a book. These kinds of translations are especially helpful for young students who are still in the early stages of learning the language. And for more advanced singers, it definitely cuts the time it takes to work up a new song.

However, I still think that it is absolutely essential that singers learn how to do their own translations. First, by sitting down with the dictionary and 501 Verbs, you learn more about the subtleties of the language. You can see how the spellings change for the different verb forms or for making something plural. Also, most word-by-word translations give one definition per word, but the dictionary often gives multiple options. I find that I have a much clearer understanding of the poet's intent when I see these other possibilities.

The second reason for doing your own translations is that those translation programs, like spell check, don't always look at context. I have a new song that I am looking at as possible addition to a recital I am planning. I recognized many of the words, and could make a fairly good guess at what it was about, but I wanted to make sure it fit my program before spending all the time doing my own translation. So I typed it into a translation app...and boy was I surprised at what I got back. The line I needed to translate was:

"mie pene segrete"

If you speak Italian, you know where this is headed. What I got back was:

"my penis secret"

This definitely changes the whole song! The program chose the most obvious match for "pene" instead of the accurate one. "Pena" means suffering or pain, and when paired with the plural "segrete" the final letter becomes an "e". The line refers to my secret pains, not my penis secret! (Just to be fair, babelfish did get this correct). I think it's safe to sing this song in front of my mother.

Yes, use the tools that are available, but also take the time to really understand the language you are singing in.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Why I love contests, festivals, masterclasses, etc.

In a few weeks, when I'm complaining about getting kids ready for Solo and Ensemble Contest, please email me and remind me to read this post.

It is so easy to get frustrated in preparing students for Contests or Festivals. For starters, their idea of ready is never quite the same as mine. Will I ever be able to convince kids that just because you know the notes, rhythms, and words, and are memorized, it does not mean that you are polished and performance ready? Then there is the whole thing with communicating scheduling and fee information. I tell them at their lessons; I email them and their parents; I post it on the lesson board; but still there are always a few that say "You didn't tell me." Once you get them to the event, there's always the concern that you will end up with the crazy judge that asks the kids to do something totally opposite of what you have been working on or the even scarier one that doesn't have anything nice to say even to the amazing kids.

So why do it if it is just one giant headache?

Here's why: because some of my students are going to grow in incredible ways from these experiences. Sometimes a judge will say the same thing I've been saying for months, but worded just a little differently and suddenly a light bulb clicks on for the student. Some times the light bulb moment is not while they are with the judge, but later in the next lesson as we talk about what happened. And sometimes, the light bulb is mine.

Two of my students just participated in a major festival held in another state. Their solo performances at the festival also counted for their scholarship auditions to that college. I hope the students will forgive me for sharing their stories, and I will try to keep things as anonymous as possible.

When Student A began voice lessons with me, I knew that there was potential for a really good voice there, but there were some serious technical issues that we had to work through. It didn't happen over night, but Student A has worked hard and has nearly conquered those hurdles. In addition to the technical stuff, we have talked a lot about interpretation and singing the meaning of the song. I was unable to attend the festival, so Student A's choir teacher was the accompanist. Student A did an amazing job, singing both technically well and extrememely expressively. Student A advanced to semi-finals and I believe that qualifies this student for one of the scholarships. I was really excited for Student A's success, but what pleased me more was that the choir teacher was able to see how much this student has grown and progressed.

Student B also did a very good performance at the Festival, but the really exciting stuff happened in the next lesson. Student B described some of the exercises that the clinician had had Student B do. Both Student B and the choir director seemed excited about the changes that these exercises had made, so we tried some of them in the lesson and then applied them to another song Student B is working on for auditions. There was some progress and with more practice, I think Student B could have improved the overall sound this way. At the very end of the lesson, I was inspired by the things we had been trying and had Student B do something very different, but with the same goals in mind. Instantly, Student B had the sound that we both have been working toward for months. Would I have had my inspiration if we hadn't just discussed her festival experience? Maybe. But I think the reason it happened is because both of us were open to learning new things and trying other methods.

So why do I keep sending/taking kids to festivals, etc. when sometimes beating my head on the wall would be less painful? Because even if it is just one or two students that find that awesome feeling of success or learn something new about themselves, all the frustration is worth it.

O Holy Night

For the last 10 years or so, I have been asked to sing "O Holy Night" at least once during the Christmas season. I appreciate the invitation since I don't do a lot of performing anymore, but at the same time, it adds stress to my already stressful December. Sometimes I think I should just say no, but then as I reflect on the experience later, I realize that singing this song is a very good thing and something that I need to continue doing. Here's what I've learned over the years.

1. It's not about me or how I sound. It is about what the listeners hear and feel. This year at one performance I totally skipped the second verse and didn't even know it for several phrases. My accompanist knew that I had skipped ahead, but couldn't find where I was. We ended up just having to stop and then start that section again. My younger self would have freaked out and left the meeting immediately after the song to avoid the embarassment of talking to people afterward. My calmer, more mature self didn't get thrown. The music that came after the mess up was just as beautiful as what came before. And although people noticed the problem (How could they not?)their comments afterward were genuinely positive. Even through my errors, they heard the message of the song and were touched by it.

2. Because this song does not naturally sit well in my voice and requires mega stamina, when I sing it I must focus on moving the phrases and letting the meaning color the tone. If I let it get too slow or heavy, or if I am just thinking technique, it is not a pleasant experience for me or the listeners. This year, I found some colors and dynamics that I have not been capable of previously.

3. The song continues to grow and improve the more I do it. As I just mentioned, this year I had a totally different approach to the colors and dynamics and I think it created a better sound. It was certainly more interesting for me.

4. As strage as it sounds, this song is actually a little easier a half step higher. In E flat, it just sits in the wrong place. I have to work it up half a step and then bring it back down while maintaining the lift I find in the higher key. Yes, I've considered just transposing it for the performance, but I'm almost always sick or recovering from illness when I have to sing this, and I just don't trust my B when I'm sick yet.

I survived another season with "O Holy Night". Will I do it again? Probably. It's not my best song, but it makes a difference in the lives of those that listen. So I guess I will continue to give them what they want and continue to find ways to make it easier for me.