Friday, October 30, 2009

Practice journal

I had great plans to practice a lot over this long weekend, but my body had other ideas. I'm feeling a lot better now and hope to get over to the school to do some singing tomorrow. All the listening and memory check stuff I've been doing is good, but I really need some singing time.

I'm working with Ruth again on Monday and I'm excited to get some feedback on what I've been doing. Since my voice still isn't at it's best, we'll probably work the lower/easier stuff.

I bought 2 more recordings on iTunes today. I really need to stop. It's easy to spend a lot when song are only $.99. I do think though that it has been worth it. I've done far more listening with these songs, and listened to more singers on each song than I ever have before. I think it has given me more ideas about what I want to do and what I want to avoid.

YouTube has also been a great resource. The other night I watched several performances by several different singers of "Vissi d'arte". There is one of Callas that is amazing. Another of her is great for the acting, but had some serious tuning issues at the end. Caballe is also interesting to watch. I have a
Tebaldi recording that I love, but the only video I could find of her singing this was not all that impressive. I wondered if maybe the reason it lacked dramatic interest was that even though there was a set and she was in costume, it was a
performance just of that song and not the full opera. I also watched a vocally glorious performance by Renee Fleming that seemed to have similar issues. For me, her facial expressions did not match what is going on in the opera at that point.

I'm planning to do some video recording as I get closer to performance so that I can make sure that I am conveying what I intend to convey.

I should be doing more audio recording now, but it just seems like a waste with all that I already know I need to work on.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Excuses vs. taking care of myself

Life has been busy. I've been tired. I could go on, but it's the same stuff that always gets in the way of writing or singing. I haven't even been reading other blogs this week. (And a week of blogs is a lot to catch up on.) I could beat myself up for not accomplishing all that I should, but what good does that really do. Instead, I choose to acknowledge that there were some difficulties this week, and I did what I needed to do to take care of myself. My house is much cleaner and I've had the rest I needed. I've also got the sugar and caffeine out of my system which will make me a much kinder person.


The good news is, even though I haven't had much actual singing time in my practice, I've still been able to make contact with my music every day. Teaching also reinforces vocal concepts even if I don't get a chance to apply them myself as much as I would like.


I'm including links to 3 blogs I read this week that I think are awesome. I don't always agree with this author, but I like the fact that she tells it like it is. She doesn't sugar coat anything. She says, here's who I am and what I believe. I hope you find something useful in her writing.

http://susan-oncemorewithfeeling.blogspot.com/2009/10/how-large-is-your-spirit.html

Ok, I'm having technical difficulties today and can't seem to get the other blogs to link. So, once you've read "How large is your spirit", also read "fix my voice" and the blog on vocal health.




Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Frustrations

In case anyone is actually checking up on me, I have practiced the last few days. I just haven't had the time/energy/ desire to post about it.

I took the long weekend as a much needed vocal rest time. I also spent more money on iTunes and did a lot of listening and work on memorization.

Yesterday I tried singing again and even though the voice was very rested, it wasn't one of my better sessions. I was just too tense and in too much pain to make good sound. This is starting to get frustrating. Yes, I'm learning a lot through this whole process, but I still need to learn how to balance the rest of my life so that I can get my best sound more often.

Today I didn't have much time to practice, but I finally felt better about the sounds I was making. It wasn't as hard today.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Friday, October 16, 2009

Practice journal 10/16/09

More listening and memorization work. Today I focused on 3 of the longer songs(at least as far as words go)--Die Mainacht, An die Nachtigall, and Schlechtes Wetter.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Practice journal 10/15/09

I'm saying that I'm giving myself a day of vocal rest, but really, I was just too tired to go to school to sing and I can't sing at home.

I finished putting the song texts into my phone notes. I also ckecked memorization as I exercised. Dein blaues Auge, O kuhler Wald, Ach Lieb ich muss nun scheiden, and Die Nacht are solid. The others still have one or two places where I have to stop and think, but I'm getting close.

I'll do a little listening tonight as I fall asleep.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Practice journal 10/14/09

Typed more of the words to my songs into the notes section of my phone so that I can study them anywhere. The only problem is that the auto correct keeps trying to change some of the German words. Everytime I type "dich" it gives me "dichotomy".

I also did some singing today while conducting, letting the movements my body wants influence the conducting gesture and then both influencing my line and tone.

I'm totally worn out now and I going home to go to bed early. On second thought, maybe I'll go get a movie.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Lessons that energize

I love when the teacher is emotionally and physically drained, but students are willing to work hard and leave the teacher with more energy than at the beginning of the lesson. It' so much better than those students that just suck all the life out of you.

My Friday students were awesome last week! I love ending the week on a high note.

I also taught until 7pm tonight (and started at 8:25 am). I wasn't sure how I was going to get through the last two lessons, but the enthusiam of the students was contagious. I feel great now. Thanks!





-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice journal 10/13/09

Did a little practicing when a student didn't show up. I worked on the low stuff again, but this time also recorded to see if what I was feeling and hearing from the inside was what the rest of the world heard. I was pretty close, but recording helped me to pick up a few other details that needed tweaking.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Monday, October 12, 2009

Practice journal 10/12/09

My upper range still is giving me trouble, but I had a great practice session today just working the lowest phrases of several songs getting everthing to be relaxed and lined up.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Practice journal 10/10/09 & 10/11/09

Yesterday I just did gentle warmups and listening. I was very tense, so I mostly focused on loosening that tension.

Today I did more listening. I can't find a recording of Ich trage meine Minne that I really like. I did find 3 that I like parts of, so I'll be listening to those. On iTunes, the clip they played for most of the songs was the middle section. Why does nearly everyone think that they need to yell the high note? On so many of the recordings it just seems pushed and strident. I guess I know what to work on avoiding.

I also read through all the words to the Brahms, Strauss, and Puccini. I need to remember to leave one of the copies of the Debussy at home so I can review and study it here.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Icebergs

It's another day of double posts--here's part of what I posted on my other blog.

Little children seem to have a fascination with the word "why". They want to know the why of everything, sometimes much to the annoyance of the adults they keep asking. But on the opposite extreme, sometimes as adults, we fail to ask the question "Why?" and respond only to the behaviors, actions, and situations that are currently present. We punish the offender or medicate to relieve symptoms rather than digging for the deeper meaning of the offense or pain. Don't get me wrong. I'm not opposed to punishment or pain meds. But, if that is as far as our interaction goes, we are not getting to the root of the problem. Or as I learned at the autism workshop, we are just addressing the tip of the iceberg.

As I'm sure you know, the part of the iceberg that is visible above the water is usually a very small percentage of the full iceberg. Although what is above the water line is dangerous, it is what is below the water line that is the real iceberg and because we cannot see it, it poses a greater risk. I wish I could just reprint these illustrations for you, but I will do my best to describe them. When looking at the iceberg that is called "Tantrums", we see that the specific behaviors lying above the water line are screams without apparent cause, self-injurious, and destroys toys. If we respond only to those behaviors that we see, noone is going to be happy, and nothing will improve. If we look at and work with the underlying deficits, that part of the tantrums that lies below the water line of our iceberg, we have a chance of changing things for the better. Those underlying deficits are unable to communicate needs, emotional inconsistency, poor understanding of the situation, strong need for closure or sameness and low frustration tolerance. To be honest, if I were a parent dealing just with the specific behaviors described here, I would probably be an abusive parent. But looking at the underlying causes helps me to love this child more and look for ways to help him or her.

Let's move this concept beyond autism. Take for example the social/political situation in the middle east. It's very easy to condemn those horrible people and what they are doing to their neighbors based solely on religious differences, but when you take a look at the last few thousand years of history in that region, or even the last hundred years, the lines between the good guys and the bad guys become blurred. You start to understand why they feel wronged and why they feel entitled to the land and the government of the people.

And what about our health? How many of us go to the doctor because we want him/her to fix what is wrong, meaning make the pain or disease go away? Do we take the time and interest to ask why it may have occurred in the first place? Western medicine is improving in this area, but I think we have a long way to go. I love my fibromyalgia and I bet you won't find many people that will say that. The reason I love it is because my body is constantly reminding me of what it needs. If I treat it with love and compassion, it is much kinder to me. It's very easy to treat the pain with meds, and the fatigue with sugar and caffeine, but it is a short term fix, and in the long run, makes things worse instead of better. When I am in pain, I need to look at why. Is my stress level too high? Have I missed too many workouts? (Endorphins are amazing.) Have I consumed too much sugar and/or caffeine or even carbohydrates in general? Although they help with the fatigue, they make the pain and inflammation much worse. If I'm tired or not sleeping well, I need to look at why? Is it the rebound from the sugar and caffeine? Have I missed my daily deep breathing exercises? Is my bed in dire need of replacement? The answer to that last one is a definite yes.

Finally, I need to be asking the question "Why?" more as I work with my students. It used to create great frustration when my very talented students wouldn't practice, but as I've come to understand some of the their reasons, it bothers me less. Rather than the lecture on how they'll never improve if they don't spend hours practicing, I now try to help them find ways to fit in whatever they can in their lives and we're all happier.

It is also easy to treat a vocal "symptom" without ever addressing the actual cause. Here's my favorite example and one that I'm constantly dealing with with my students. The [i] vowel can be a singer's best friend or their worst enemy. For those of you not familiar with IPA, I'm referring to the ee sound like in the word cheese. In fact, think of that horrible bright smiley word that photographers have you say to make you smile and you'll understand why choir directors hate this vowel. As it is normally spoken, it is very bright, shallow, and horizontal. If sung in the same manner, its sound jumps out of the texture of the music and doesn't blend well at all. Some choir directors will have students change all [i] sounds to [I] as in the word skin. Others use other ways to manipulate the sound of the group vowel. But what happens too often is that when kids come to me, I discover that their perception of the fix has totally destroyed anything even closely related to the [i] vowel. Often the kids are pulling their tongues way back. Yes, it does take the piercing sound out, but now the vowel jumps out of the texture in the other direction. You have beautiful clear sound, and then a really muffled swallowed [i] vowel breaks that line. In the choir teacher's defense, they cannot check how every student is interpretting their instructions. They just hear the overall result of the choir. When the choir [i] is what they want to hear, they assume that the individuals are creating it correctly.

The true and beautiful [i] sound is not achieved by changing the vowel or by pulling it back. It is achieved through making it vertical and releasing the tension in the jaw and tongue. That [i] is wonderfully resonant AND lines up with everything around it.

When a student seems to not even try when given new instructions, it's easy to decide that they don't care, that they are just oppositional by nature, or as one teacher decided about me, that there is just something wrong with the student. To be honest, there was something wrong, several somethings actually, but what was most damaging about her assessment was that it seemed to imply that I was hopelessly flawed and couldn't be fixed. It's easy to assign labels based on behavior. It takes more work, more time and more energy to find the underlying causes beneath those behaviors.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Practice journal 10/9/09

Just listening and memorization checks today. Although I didn't have the energy to do my own practicing today, lessons went really well.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Practice journal 10/8/09

Just listening today.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Practice journal 10/7/09

My voice is still not at it's best, but I'm learning a lot anyway.
One of my books has the title Verzagen translated as Despair. Today I looked it up in my German dictionary. It said despondent. Yes, they are very similar, but despondent makes me sing it better.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Practice Journal 10/6/09

I had a chance to warm-up and start my practicing when a student cancelled her lesson for today. Verzagen is just feeling really awkward right now. It's not bad, but it's not really improving and going where I want it to. I think I need to set it aside for awhile and focus on other things.

After all the teaching was done for the day, I stayed and worked on the Strauss songs. The Schlechtes Wetter high note that I wanted to work yesterday actually worked today. Overall, the high notes are feeling much better. I just need to remember not to force them. It's the same issue with the higher pitches in Ach, lieb ich muss nun scheiden. I have to remember that those notes are easy for me now and don't take as much effort physically as they used to. The last page of Die Nacht with all those repeated Ds is also feeling much bettter. The G is also good, but coming down after that still needs to be worked and smoothed out a bit more.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Practice Journal 10/5/09

Stayed at school after lessons today to practice. I was able to accomplish a couple of things, but the top is still a little rough, so I only did a couple of the Strauss songs and then quit for the day. I really wanted to work the high phrase, because it is so close to being what I want, but by the third attenpt, I knew it wasn't going to happen today. My voice was doing weird things when I was just talking to students today, so I didn't want to push my luck. We have a few long weekends coming up and I'm interested to see how my voice is when I have a little more rest. Hopefully it will be better.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Practice Journal 10/3/09 and 10/4/09

Difficulty with computer and iphone kept me from posting yesterday.

Yesterday, I did a lot of listening. In fact, more than I intended. I was going to take a nap and listen to 4-5 songs as I fell asleep. However, I must have changed something without knowing it, because the music just kept playing for my whole nap. I would wake up enough to hear that it was still on, but not enough to turn it off. It also worked into my dreams in weird ways.

In additions to the sleeping/listening, I did some attentive listening and then went over to the school in the evening to do some other work and practice. By the time I started singing it was almost 10PM. It was weird. I was tired, but relaxed enough that the sound was actually pretty good. From the way it feels though, I think I might be on the edge of laryngitis again, so I'm giving the voice a rest day. Yesterday I sang through 3 of the Strauss songs since I've been listening to those a lot lately. The high note in Schlechtes Wetter really felt good and I didn't even need the breath before "wallen". That's a first.

I've been listening to Schlechtes Wetter as performed by Kiri Te Kananwa, Elly Ameling, Elizabeth Schwarzkopf, Renee Fleming, and Christa Ludwig. Very interesting. At this moment, I like the Ludwig version best. Gorgeous, and I think her concept of the piece is closer to mine than some of the other recordings I've listened to. I thought she was a mezzo and she sounds like a mezzo, but she sings this in the high key with absolutely no difficulty on the top. I thought maybe I was thinking of the wrong singer, so I googled her and found out that she is a mezzo, but later in her career also sang a few soprano roles. Cool. Again, we see the wisdom of finding the right key for your voice. She definitely has the notes and it sounds great in her voice.
It's also interesting to listen to the choices the pianists make. The pianist playing with Fleming is very good, but I like the Gerald Moore color and interpretation better. He's the accompanist on 2 of these recordings and I'm planning to listen for differences in them. Differences could be responses to the specifice singer, or changes or maturing in his own interpretation through the years. More later when I've done more specific listening.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Practice journal 10/2/09

For the last couple of days, I've been sight reading from Arie Antiche Vol. 3 as part of my warmup. There are some nice songs in there that I would like to use with my students. I love the 24 (or 26, or 28), but with as many students as I have, I need to find more rep so that we don't have 3 or 4 performances of "Se tu m'ami" at every studio class.

I also spent way too much time trying to get a cd that I own imported to my iTunes and then onto my phone. But I did finally get all the kinks worked out and now I can listen to Kiri sing Strauss.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Practice journal 10/1/09

Just listening tonight.


-- Posted from my iPhone