Practice Journal 12/5/09

Although I have made contact with my music every day by listening or studying the music, it's been awhile since I've had a really good singing practice. This past month or so has been a very tense one and even the short singing sessions I was able to get in did not feel good. Today felt and sounded really good. Yes, there are still a few technical things to work out, but it was so much easier. I didn't feel like I had to find to loosen up or place things correctly. I even checked the Bflats and the B (which I've been avoiding since those notes were so tight.) Sounded and felt great !

The secret to tonight's success--75 minutes on the treadmill. It's amazing how much that relaxes my body. When the blood has been pumping and all my muscles are warm and relaxed, I sing much better. The only problem is that I am tired when I start singing, so I can't really sing for as long as I would like to. I need to start experimenting and see how much exercise I need before I sing.

Avocational Singer: Whatever the Limitation; Never Give Up

Here's another great blog you need to read.



Avocational Singer: Whatever the Limitation; Never Give Up

Happy Thanksgiving

On my other blog, I made a more general list, but thought it would be fun to do a music related "What I am thankful for" list here.

I am thankful for my iPhone. How did I ever live without it?
I am thankful for iTunes.
I am thankful for YouTube. All of these have made learning and loving my songs much easier.
I am thankful that my parents and grandparents thought that piano lessons should be a priority. We had a lot of financial difficulties as I was growing up, but somehow, someone always found a way to pay for the lessons. Thanks for all the sacrifices of time and resources that were made so that I could be the musician I am today.
I am thankful for wonderful teachers who encouraged me and challenged me to be the very best I could be.
I am thankful for mentors who took my under their wings and taught me the things I needed to know.
I am thankful that I went to a small private junior college where I had teaching and leadership opportunities that most don't get until graduate school.
I am thankful that Mr. Keenan, though a wonderful pianist himself, insisted on having a student accompanist at the piano every day. I learned so much from those 3 years of being a choir accompanist.
I am thankful for every opportunity I had to accompany church singing, a choir, soloists, operas, or musicals from before I was even 12 years old. I received thousands of hours of free instruction as I watched directors and teachers work.
I am thankful for my students, even the one that sometimes drive me nuts. Sometimes I am most thankful for them because they keep me on my toes. They challenge me to find new and better ways to share what I know. I also love the kids whose enthusiasm and energy brighten my day.
I am thankful for my blogs. Both of them have given me the chance to say things that are harder to say in person. They've given me the opportunity to claim my beliefs and my fears, and to move forward with integrity.

So, the list is not complete, but it is time to move on to the next portion of my Thanksgiving Celebration.
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Networking= Caring about people

Another great blog post you need to read.
http://avocationalsinger.blogspot.com/2009/11/what-does-stay-at-home-mom-know-about.html#comment-form

I love what she has to say about how her husband really cares about the people he meets and cares about helping them as opposed to wondering what they can do for him.

Pep talk

I read this amazing Nanowrimo pep talk this morning and thought I would share it with you. It spoke to me on a lot different levels. Of course, it spoke to the writer in me, but also to the singer, and also to the regular everyday me just trying to get through life and make a difference.

I hope you enjoy it. I'll try to comment more about it later.

http://www.nanowrimo.org/node/3457857

Mary Wilson

Yesterday, Mary Wilson (opera singer) came and sang for our Concert Choir. She is in town to sing on a concert with her dad's choir this weekend. It's been fun to follow her career over the last 10 years. She's from Rosemount and I get to work with/see her parents frequently at music related things.

Here are just a few things that I loved about what she said to the kids and how she sang:

• When she was singing, she was an amazing artist. When she was talking to the kids, she wasn't afraid to be herself and let her personality come through. The kids got to see that opera singers are real people.
• She was so incredibly expressive with her tone, face, and body. I've been to many professional recitals, but few artists captivate my attention like she does. I loved that my kids got to hear amazing music that was not just beautifully sung, but sung in a way that drew them in and made them want more.
• She spoke to the kids about presence at contest and auditions. You can't enter with an apologetic posture and attitude and expect your judges or audience to be interested in you. This is all the same stuff I tell them, but I'm just their teacher. She's a cool, kind of famous person.
• She talked about coloring the voice depending on the emotions you are trying to convey.
• She sang softly, but with a sound that still had core and could be heard in the whole room. I'm going to be reminding students of this everytime they give me that wimpy, non-supported sound that barely hits the music stand and they tell me they sang that way because it was marked pp.
• Here's another thing I love about Mary--she is smart and really knows how to make a song work with her voice. She sang Schubert's "Gretchen am Spinnrade." Personally, I think this is a song that works better with a bigger voice. Had I been choosing music for Mary, I would not have chosen this song. However, it was amazing! It was one of the most gripping performances I have heard of this. She knows her voice and the style of the music well enough to pull it off. I was reminded of some of the performances I've heard of Elly Ameling where she chose music that really should not have worked in her voice, but she found the way to make it beautiful. But just for the record, Mary and Elly are the only "smaller" voices I've ever heard pull this off. Most of the performances by smaller voices were just painful for all of us. And no, none of you high school students will be singing this one any time soon, no matter how much you love it.

Mary's probably never received a review quite like this one, and I hope that if she ever stumbles upon it that she will forgive my very casual approach here. If you ever get a chance to hear her, don't miss it. You will not be disappointed.

Learn more about Mary at www.marywilsonsoprano.com

Me and House

I love the TV show HOUSE for a lot of reasons. First, I'm a total science geek and a mystery lover, so what could be better than a show where they are trying to figure out the mystery illness. Second, I love Hugh Laurie. Even as the cantankerous, unshaved House, he's hot.

But, this is a voice blog so perhaps I should move on to why teaching voice is like being a doctor on HOUSE. Many years ago, someone told me that if I couldn't immediately identify and fix a student's vocal problem that I shouldn't be a teacher. I used to think the same thing about doctors--they should add up all the symptoms, immediately come to a diagnosis, and recommend the treatment that would fix it. Obviously, that isn't the case on HOUSE. If it was, the show would only take 5 minutes. The problems for both doctors and voice teachers are that
1. We don't always know all the symptoms. We try to ask the right questions and make the right observations, but sometimes a patient/student doesn't tell us something because they don't think it is important, but it's the one thing that might help us make a definitive diagnosis.
2. Often, similar symptoms can have very different causes. Even a grouping of 3 or 4 symptoms might still give us multiple options for diagnosis.
3. Since each body is different, we have to tailor the treatment for each individual. My mom and my dad react very differently to pain medications. My mom can usually only handle a half dose of the mild stuff. My dad needs the heavy duty drugs and quite a bit of them. As much as I hate it, and as bad as it is for my voice, sometimes the only thing that will help a student open enough is to tell them to imagine a grapefruit in their throat.

Today, we spent most of one lesson struggling with the same concept. As I teacher, there is part of me that gets frustrated with this and I start to doubt myself. Sometimes, ok most of the time, the kids also get frustrated. I'm so glad that my student tonight was so flexible that she didn't get frustrated. We just kept trying different things until we found something that worked. And she sounded great at the end of the lesson. I was able to diagnose and treat this "patient" within her half hour "episode". I wish it was always like that. Unfortunately in real life, things often take longer. I just need to remember to be patient with the process.

-- Posted from my iPhone

NATS

I love going to the NATS student auditions. I wasn't able to go on Friday this year, but spent all day Saturday there. It's fun to connect with colleagues that I don't get to see often. It's also nice to hear singers that are more advanced than my own who are mostly just beginner high school students. Each year, I'm also reminded of some very important things.

1. It is so important to choose the right rep for each voice. It can make or break an audition. A gorgeous voice singing something that is not right for him or her will not sound good.

2. We don't always sing our best every time we open our mouths. I was surprised that some of the singers in the finals had made it to finals. But, I also judged a semi-finals round and heard different things from those singers in the finals than I did in the the semi-finals round. The girl who won had had a good semi-finals round, but based on all her rep, I wouldn't have chosen her as the winner. But, in the finals round, she sang her best song and she owned it. It had been good at semi-finals, but was great at finals.

3. We all have different preferences for the tone we want to hear. I was a little surprised by some of the rankings in the finals, but it was not because I was wrong, as much as that there were other teachers who had a different preference.

4. Even when they are no longer studying with you, your students are always your students. I was so proud of one of my former students, now in her junior year of college, that won her division.

Overall it was a great day.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

Bonus points if you can correctly identify the source of today's title.

Today was mostly about being freaked out over all that I didn't get done over the weekend and all that has to happen soon. I also didn't feel well and had lots of pain and tension issues.

But then, I decided to do a little bit of singing, just to see what my voice was like. I found a new Brahms piece that I wanted to try out. I did a little warming up and then did some sight-reading of 2 Brahms songs. I think one will work well and might be a good back up piece if I'm still having tension and pain that cause high note issues. It sits nicely in my voice and moves well. The second song was pretty, but not a great fit at this point. Then I sang through a couple of the ones I'm currently working on and they sounded amazingly good, considering how I felt. Since that worked well, I pulled out a Brahms song I did several years ago. It's a little different in character from the ones I'm working now, and might be a good one to pull back for the recital. Today it was a completely different song that it was when I sang it several years ago. The spots that previously stressed me out were easy. I'll have to try this out with Ruth and see what she thinks.

Anyway, I love when there is at least one bright moment in a difficult day and today Brahms took care of that for me.

Practice Journal 11/2/09

My coaching with Ruth was cancelled today. I was disappointed, but a little relieved too, since I'm still not feeling well. So instead of getting dressed and going to St. Paul, I crawled back in bed with my iphone and my music binder and did a couple of hours of listening and score study.

Today I noticed how much my perception of performances is affected by how I feel physically and emotionally. Different performances were my favorites today as those singers connected with the place I was today.

Schwarzkopf's "wogenblauen" (the soft G in Morgen) is still the most gorgeous sound ever, except maybe Caballe's floaty high note in "Casta diva", but I didn't listen to that today so it doesn't count. Schwarzkopf has an interesting voice. The things I've listened to are not very consistent, but maybe I've been listening to the wrong things. However, when she is on, she is so on that you forgive every other little flaw.

This is a big oversimplification I am sure, but as I listened to the voices of the past, singers that are now dead or retired, I hear tone that is less consistent, but overall performances that I like more than some current performers. It's almost like the current generation has perfected the sound too much, losing the risk that must be involved to achieve true beauty. Of course there are exceptions, on both sides, but still I wonder. And it makes me wonder about my own singing. Yes, I need to really work the technique and the sound, but I can't forget that first and foremost it is about communicating and connecting with my audience, whoever it may be. A pretty sound can't make up for missing expressivity. Beauty is something much deeper than just the tonal concept. I think it involves vulnerability.

More on this later.

Theme songs

I just read a blog from a singer about what she learned about herself by looking at the songs she was drawn to. It made me think about my "theme songs".

To be honest, I can only think of two of them at the moment, but I want to share them with you. When I was in college, I discovered the musical The Secret Garden, and "Hold On" became my theme song. Sometimes I heard a dear friend sing it to me, and sometimes I was singing it to myself. Those were very dark years in my life. The only thing that kept me going was the hope that there was something better down the road. "Child, hold on, it's this day, not you, that's bound to go away."

The year 2000 was a major turning point in my life. "Hold On" was still my theme for a few more years, but soon it was replaced by "Defying Gravity" from Wicked. I felt energized and enthused and ready to take on the world. I was making my own choices, finding my own path and I no longer felt that I had to live up to the expectations of everyone else.
"Something has changed within me Something is not the same I'm through with playing by the rules Of someone else's game Too late for second-guessing Too late to go back to sleep It's time to trust my instincts Close my eyes: and leap!"

I'm still working on finding my own path, but "Defying Gravity" isn't really my theme song anymore. I'm not sure what is. I'm in a calmer place now, no longer fighting to survive, or fighting to live my own life.

I have some favorite songs, like Mahler's "Ich bin der Welt Abhanden Gekommen", but I'm not sure that I would really call it a theme song. And I love the Brahms, Strauss, and Puccini I'm working on now, but the despair and loss most of them present are also not where my life is now.

I'm not sure this is my theme song, but today it makes me happy. John Denver's "Sunshine on my Shoulders"
Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high.

I love the sun and hope more sunny days are on the way.

Pianists

As singers, we frequently discuss our favorite singers, past and present. Doing all the listening that I have been, I've once again been reminded how important the person sitting at the piano is. I don't care if you call them collaborative pianists or accompanists, as long as you realize how important they are and what they bring to a performance.

I've served in both roles, and yes, I do mean served. It's not about us. We're merely there as vehicles for the music. Last week I helped out a co-worker by playing for his audition DVD. I had forgotten the joy of being on that side of the piano. I still think he could have used someone whose technique was stronger, but I so appreciated the opportunity to be part of that wonderful music making.

And now to the point of the whole post--I love Gerald Moore! I think he and I could have worked beautifully together.

So, now is your chance to comment and let me know that someone really does read this.

I've often thought about which people from history I would most like to meet. Today the questions are about musicians.

What pianist from the past (must be dead or retired) would you most like to work with?

Is there a conductor from the past that you would like to work with?


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice journal 10/31/09

After cleaning most of the house and doing the grocery shopping, I really felt too tired to practice, but I went to school to try anyway. The warm up took longer than usual since I was tight and tired, but I finally got things loosened up and had a fairly porductive practice.

The interesting thing was that An die Nachtigall and Die Mainacht worked pretty well, while the others that have been good were only OK. An die Nachtigall was better than it's been in a long time. It was more comfortable and much more fluid. I hope I can keep that for my session with Ruth on Monday.

On the other hand, I seem to have lost the magic of O kuhler Wald. It wasn't bad, but it didn't sound or feel like it had lately.

One of the things that is frustrating for me is that with my allergies and fibromyalgia, it seems like I have a different voice every day. It's hard to find any consistentcy. Since it's constantly in flux, I can't really go for the same sound or even the same physical sensations that I had in a previous session. The only thing I really can do is make sure that the vowels are placed high and everything stays loose. If I can achieve that, I usually like the sound, even if it feels and sound different than the last time I practiced.

I love writing. It really helps me to clarify and work out my issues. I was frustrated over the lack of consistency, but in writing, reminded myself of the solution. Love it when that happens!

-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice journal

I had great plans to practice a lot over this long weekend, but my body had other ideas. I'm feeling a lot better now and hope to get over to the school to do some singing tomorrow. All the listening and memory check stuff I've been doing is good, but I really need some singing time.

I'm working with Ruth again on Monday and I'm excited to get some feedback on what I've been doing. Since my voice still isn't at it's best, we'll probably work the lower/easier stuff.

I bought 2 more recordings on iTunes today. I really need to stop. It's easy to spend a lot when song are only $.99. I do think though that it has been worth it. I've done far more listening with these songs, and listened to more singers on each song than I ever have before. I think it has given me more ideas about what I want to do and what I want to avoid.

YouTube has also been a great resource. The other night I watched several performances by several different singers of "Vissi d'arte". There is one of Callas that is amazing. Another of her is great for the acting, but had some serious tuning issues at the end. Caballe is also interesting to watch. I have a
Tebaldi recording that I love, but the only video I could find of her singing this was not all that impressive. I wondered if maybe the reason it lacked dramatic interest was that even though there was a set and she was in costume, it was a
performance just of that song and not the full opera. I also watched a vocally glorious performance by Renee Fleming that seemed to have similar issues. For me, her facial expressions did not match what is going on in the opera at that point.

I'm planning to do some video recording as I get closer to performance so that I can make sure that I am conveying what I intend to convey.

I should be doing more audio recording now, but it just seems like a waste with all that I already know I need to work on.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Excuses vs. taking care of myself

Life has been busy. I've been tired. I could go on, but it's the same stuff that always gets in the way of writing or singing. I haven't even been reading other blogs this week. (And a week of blogs is a lot to catch up on.) I could beat myself up for not accomplishing all that I should, but what good does that really do. Instead, I choose to acknowledge that there were some difficulties this week, and I did what I needed to do to take care of myself. My house is much cleaner and I've had the rest I needed. I've also got the sugar and caffeine out of my system which will make me a much kinder person.


The good news is, even though I haven't had much actual singing time in my practice, I've still been able to make contact with my music every day. Teaching also reinforces vocal concepts even if I don't get a chance to apply them myself as much as I would like.


I'm including links to 3 blogs I read this week that I think are awesome. I don't always agree with this author, but I like the fact that she tells it like it is. She doesn't sugar coat anything. She says, here's who I am and what I believe. I hope you find something useful in her writing.

http://susan-oncemorewithfeeling.blogspot.com/2009/10/how-large-is-your-spirit.html

Ok, I'm having technical difficulties today and can't seem to get the other blogs to link. So, once you've read "How large is your spirit", also read "fix my voice" and the blog on vocal health.

Frustrations

In case anyone is actually checking up on me, I have practiced the last few days. I just haven't had the time/energy/ desire to post about it.

I took the long weekend as a much needed vocal rest time. I also spent more money on iTunes and did a lot of listening and work on memorization.

Yesterday I tried singing again and even though the voice was very rested, it wasn't one of my better sessions. I was just too tense and in too much pain to make good sound. This is starting to get frustrating. Yes, I'm learning a lot through this whole process, but I still need to learn how to balance the rest of my life so that I can get my best sound more often.

Today I didn't have much time to practice, but I finally felt better about the sounds I was making. It wasn't as hard today.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice journal 10/16/09

More listening and memorization work. Today I focused on 3 of the longer songs(at least as far as words go)--Die Mainacht, An die Nachtigall, and Schlechtes Wetter.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice journal 10/15/09

I'm saying that I'm giving myself a day of vocal rest, but really, I was just too tired to go to school to sing and I can't sing at home.

I finished putting the song texts into my phone notes. I also ckecked memorization as I exercised. Dein blaues Auge, O kuhler Wald, Ach Lieb ich muss nun scheiden, and Die Nacht are solid. The others still have one or two places where I have to stop and think, but I'm getting close.

I'll do a little listening tonight as I fall asleep.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice journal 10/14/09

Typed more of the words to my songs into the notes section of my phone so that I can study them anywhere. The only problem is that the auto correct keeps trying to change some of the German words. Everytime I type "dich" it gives me "dichotomy".

I also did some singing today while conducting, letting the movements my body wants influence the conducting gesture and then both influencing my line and tone.

I'm totally worn out now and I going home to go to bed early. On second thought, maybe I'll go get a movie.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Lessons that energize

I love when the teacher is emotionally and physically drained, but students are willing to work hard and leave the teacher with more energy than at the beginning of the lesson. It' so much better than those students that just suck all the life out of you.

My Friday students were awesome last week! I love ending the week on a high note.

I also taught until 7pm tonight (and started at 8:25 am). I wasn't sure how I was going to get through the last two lessons, but the enthusiam of the students was contagious. I feel great now. Thanks!





-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice journal 10/13/09

Did a little practicing when a student didn't show up. I worked on the low stuff again, but this time also recorded to see if what I was feeling and hearing from the inside was what the rest of the world heard. I was pretty close, but recording helped me to pick up a few other details that needed tweaking.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice journal 10/12/09

My upper range still is giving me trouble, but I had a great practice session today just working the lowest phrases of several songs getting everthing to be relaxed and lined up.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice journal 10/10/09 & 10/11/09

Yesterday I just did gentle warmups and listening. I was very tense, so I mostly focused on loosening that tension.

Today I did more listening. I can't find a recording of Ich trage meine Minne that I really like. I did find 3 that I like parts of, so I'll be listening to those. On iTunes, the clip they played for most of the songs was the middle section. Why does nearly everyone think that they need to yell the high note? On so many of the recordings it just seems pushed and strident. I guess I know what to work on avoiding.

I also read through all the words to the Brahms, Strauss, and Puccini. I need to remember to leave one of the copies of the Debussy at home so I can review and study it here.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Icebergs

It's another day of double posts--here's part of what I posted on my other blog.

Little children seem to have a fascination with the word "why". They want to know the why of everything, sometimes much to the annoyance of the adults they keep asking. But on the opposite extreme, sometimes as adults, we fail to ask the question "Why?" and respond only to the behaviors, actions, and situations that are currently present. We punish the offender or medicate to relieve symptoms rather than digging for the deeper meaning of the offense or pain. Don't get me wrong. I'm not opposed to punishment or pain meds. But, if that is as far as our interaction goes, we are not getting to the root of the problem. Or as I learned at the autism workshop, we are just addressing the tip of the iceberg.

As I'm sure you know, the part of the iceberg that is visible above the water is usually a very small percentage of the full iceberg. Although what is above the water line is dangerous, it is what is below the water line that is the real iceberg and because we cannot see it, it poses a greater risk. I wish I could just reprint these illustrations for you, but I will do my best to describe them. When looking at the iceberg that is called "Tantrums", we see that the specific behaviors lying above the water line are screams without apparent cause, self-injurious, and destroys toys. If we respond only to those behaviors that we see, noone is going to be happy, and nothing will improve. If we look at and work with the underlying deficits, that part of the tantrums that lies below the water line of our iceberg, we have a chance of changing things for the better. Those underlying deficits are unable to communicate needs, emotional inconsistency, poor understanding of the situation, strong need for closure or sameness and low frustration tolerance. To be honest, if I were a parent dealing just with the specific behaviors described here, I would probably be an abusive parent. But looking at the underlying causes helps me to love this child more and look for ways to help him or her.

Let's move this concept beyond autism. Take for example the social/political situation in the middle east. It's very easy to condemn those horrible people and what they are doing to their neighbors based solely on religious differences, but when you take a look at the last few thousand years of history in that region, or even the last hundred years, the lines between the good guys and the bad guys become blurred. You start to understand why they feel wronged and why they feel entitled to the land and the government of the people.

And what about our health? How many of us go to the doctor because we want him/her to fix what is wrong, meaning make the pain or disease go away? Do we take the time and interest to ask why it may have occurred in the first place? Western medicine is improving in this area, but I think we have a long way to go. I love my fibromyalgia and I bet you won't find many people that will say that. The reason I love it is because my body is constantly reminding me of what it needs. If I treat it with love and compassion, it is much kinder to me. It's very easy to treat the pain with meds, and the fatigue with sugar and caffeine, but it is a short term fix, and in the long run, makes things worse instead of better. When I am in pain, I need to look at why. Is my stress level too high? Have I missed too many workouts? (Endorphins are amazing.) Have I consumed too much sugar and/or caffeine or even carbohydrates in general? Although they help with the fatigue, they make the pain and inflammation much worse. If I'm tired or not sleeping well, I need to look at why? Is it the rebound from the sugar and caffeine? Have I missed my daily deep breathing exercises? Is my bed in dire need of replacement? The answer to that last one is a definite yes.

Finally, I need to be asking the question "Why?" more as I work with my students. It used to create great frustration when my very talented students wouldn't practice, but as I've come to understand some of the their reasons, it bothers me less. Rather than the lecture on how they'll never improve if they don't spend hours practicing, I now try to help them find ways to fit in whatever they can in their lives and we're all happier.

It is also easy to treat a vocal "symptom" without ever addressing the actual cause. Here's my favorite example and one that I'm constantly dealing with with my students. The [i] vowel can be a singer's best friend or their worst enemy. For those of you not familiar with IPA, I'm referring to the ee sound like in the word cheese. In fact, think of that horrible bright smiley word that photographers have you say to make you smile and you'll understand why choir directors hate this vowel. As it is normally spoken, it is very bright, shallow, and horizontal. If sung in the same manner, its sound jumps out of the texture of the music and doesn't blend well at all. Some choir directors will have students change all [i] sounds to [I] as in the word skin. Others use other ways to manipulate the sound of the group vowel. But what happens too often is that when kids come to me, I discover that their perception of the fix has totally destroyed anything even closely related to the [i] vowel. Often the kids are pulling their tongues way back. Yes, it does take the piercing sound out, but now the vowel jumps out of the texture in the other direction. You have beautiful clear sound, and then a really muffled swallowed [i] vowel breaks that line. In the choir teacher's defense, they cannot check how every student is interpretting their instructions. They just hear the overall result of the choir. When the choir [i] is what they want to hear, they assume that the individuals are creating it correctly.

The true and beautiful [i] sound is not achieved by changing the vowel or by pulling it back. It is achieved through making it vertical and releasing the tension in the jaw and tongue. That [i] is wonderfully resonant AND lines up with everything around it.

When a student seems to not even try when given new instructions, it's easy to decide that they don't care, that they are just oppositional by nature, or as one teacher decided about me, that there is just something wrong with the student. To be honest, there was something wrong, several somethings actually, but what was most damaging about her assessment was that it seemed to imply that I was hopelessly flawed and couldn't be fixed. It's easy to assign labels based on behavior. It takes more work, more time and more energy to find the underlying causes beneath those behaviors.

Practice journal 10/9/09

Just listening and memorization checks today. Although I didn't have the energy to do my own practicing today, lessons went really well.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice journal 10/8/09

Just listening today.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice journal 10/7/09

My voice is still not at it's best, but I'm learning a lot anyway.
One of my books has the title Verzagen translated as Despair. Today I looked it up in my German dictionary. It said despondent. Yes, they are very similar, but despondent makes me sing it better.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice Journal 10/6/09

I had a chance to warm-up and start my practicing when a student cancelled her lesson for today. Verzagen is just feeling really awkward right now. It's not bad, but it's not really improving and going where I want it to. I think I need to set it aside for awhile and focus on other things.

After all the teaching was done for the day, I stayed and worked on the Strauss songs. The Schlechtes Wetter high note that I wanted to work yesterday actually worked today. Overall, the high notes are feeling much better. I just need to remember not to force them. It's the same issue with the higher pitches in Ach, lieb ich muss nun scheiden. I have to remember that those notes are easy for me now and don't take as much effort physically as they used to. The last page of Die Nacht with all those repeated Ds is also feeling much bettter. The G is also good, but coming down after that still needs to be worked and smoothed out a bit more.

Practice Journal 10/5/09

Stayed at school after lessons today to practice. I was able to accomplish a couple of things, but the top is still a little rough, so I only did a couple of the Strauss songs and then quit for the day. I really wanted to work the high phrase, because it is so close to being what I want, but by the third attenpt, I knew it wasn't going to happen today. My voice was doing weird things when I was just talking to students today, so I didn't want to push my luck. We have a few long weekends coming up and I'm interested to see how my voice is when I have a little more rest. Hopefully it will be better.

Practice Journal 10/3/09 and 10/4/09

Difficulty with computer and iphone kept me from posting yesterday.

Yesterday, I did a lot of listening. In fact, more than I intended. I was going to take a nap and listen to 4-5 songs as I fell asleep. However, I must have changed something without knowing it, because the music just kept playing for my whole nap. I would wake up enough to hear that it was still on, but not enough to turn it off. It also worked into my dreams in weird ways.

In additions to the sleeping/listening, I did some attentive listening and then went over to the school in the evening to do some other work and practice. By the time I started singing it was almost 10PM. It was weird. I was tired, but relaxed enough that the sound was actually pretty good. From the way it feels though, I think I might be on the edge of laryngitis again, so I'm giving the voice a rest day. Yesterday I sang through 3 of the Strauss songs since I've been listening to those a lot lately. The high note in Schlechtes Wetter really felt good and I didn't even need the breath before "wallen". That's a first.

I've been listening to Schlechtes Wetter as performed by Kiri Te Kananwa, Elly Ameling, Elizabeth Schwarzkopf, Renee Fleming, and Christa Ludwig. Very interesting. At this moment, I like the Ludwig version best. Gorgeous, and I think her concept of the piece is closer to mine than some of the other recordings I've listened to. I thought she was a mezzo and she sounds like a mezzo, but she sings this in the high key with absolutely no difficulty on the top. I thought maybe I was thinking of the wrong singer, so I googled her and found out that she is a mezzo, but later in her career also sang a few soprano roles. Cool. Again, we see the wisdom of finding the right key for your voice. She definitely has the notes and it sounds great in her voice.
It's also interesting to listen to the choices the pianists make. The pianist playing with Fleming is very good, but I like the Gerald Moore color and interpretation better. He's the accompanist on 2 of these recordings and I'm planning to listen for differences in them. Differences could be responses to the specifice singer, or changes or maturing in his own interpretation through the years. More later when I've done more specific listening.

Practice journal 10/2/09

For the last couple of days, I've been sight reading from Arie Antiche Vol. 3 as part of my warmup. There are some nice songs in there that I would like to use with my students. I love the 24 (or 26, or 28), but with as many students as I have, I need to find more rep so that we don't have 3 or 4 performances of "Se tu m'ami" at every studio class.

I also spent way too much time trying to get a cd that I own imported to my iTunes and then onto my phone. But I did finally get all the kinks worked out and now I can listen to Kiri sing Strauss.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice journal 10/1/09

Just listening tonight.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Permission to be bad

I'm all about lofty goals and high standards. I can spend an entire lessons
picking at little details that need to be improved in a student's song. But sometimes we have to give ourselves and our students permission to be bad. Sometime that is the only way we grow.

This week a student expressed concern that her voice just isn't sounding as good as it used to and that she didn't feel like she could do things that she used to be able to do. Anytime a student comes to me with these concerns I want to make sure that both of us know exactly what is going on with the voice and determine if there is something I need to send him/her to a doctor for. The first thing I have a student do is keep a voice journal recording what they do, what it feels like and how it sounds. For this particular student, I also made a check list of technical things that she could check when she wasn't happy with her sound. And finally, I gave her a list of things that can affect the voice and how it sounds and feels. We didn't have to go far into the list to discover the reason her voice wasn't happy. She has a very tough schedule this year at school, and her stress level is really high. I know from personal experience what that can do to a voice. So we talked about doing what she can do and understanding that it won't be good, but she can learn and progress.

Tonight, my practice session was a perfect illustration of that. Today I was dealing with a lot of pain and tension, which is bad news for a singer. As I started to work on my songs, it didn't feel good and I could feel and hear lots of things I wanted to change. But, since I knew how hard that would be on a night like tonight, I gave myself permission to be bad and focused on checking my memorization. Because I gave myself permission to be bad, I didn't stress over those things I didn't like. That just adds more tension. I focused on what was working well. By the time I finished, I was actually making pretty good sounds, but I wouldn't have arrived at that place if I'd freaked out over the details tonight.

There are some practice sessions where you need to pick things apart and really do the detail work. And sometimes, you need to go for the big picture, allow bad sounds to happen, and be open to whatever good comes. I'm learning that about my own work, and I'm planning to be more conscious of it in the work I do with my students.

Practice Journal 9/29/09

Yes.

Practice Journal 9/28/09

Did a little warming up today when a student didn't show up. The voice is still not happy, but it is getting better. In addition to my usual memorization and listening work, I played through most of the Brahms songs. I like to play the accompaniment because it helps me to be aware of what is going on there in a way that I don't get by just listening. I also find new ways of shaping the phrases as I pay attention to the harmonic rhythm.

Myths and Misunderstandings

Not long ago, a fellow voice teacher's status on Facebook told us about a new student of his that thought she was a good singer because she "sang with her diagram."

The beginning of the school year is always a fun time for finding out which kids are completely confused but are confident that they know everything. And it's not just the kids new to my studio. Some of the returners are a little confused too.

Most kids are clueless about the diaphragm. Their choir teachers told them to sing with it, but either they didn't explain what that meant, or the kids weren't really paying attention. (And yes, not paying attention could be the real problem here.)

Here are some of my favorite things I've heard from kids:

"When you breath in, you need to fill up the diaphragm."
Will someone please explain to me how to do this? You can't put anything in it. It descends. Time to talk about anatomy and pull out the cool pictures.

"For singing, you breathe into your stomach, not your lungs."
OK, I can understand how this misperception got started. It's because we refer to the entire abdominal region as the stomach and teachers are trying to get the kids to take low breaths, not shoulder breaths. However, once again, it's time for the anatomy discussion. The only place you can breathe into is your lungs. If you breathe into your stomach, it doesn't make you sing better; it makes you burp!

"But my last teacher said it didn't matter what it sounded like if the technique was right."
(Sounds of me screaming and pulling out my hair!) Technique is a tool to help us create beautiful sound, not the goal itself. If it doesn't sound good and feel good, the technique is not right.

Now, just to be fair, I'm sure that there are kids out there right now telling their new college teachers that I told them to sing out their eyes. And for some of them it is true. I use a lot of imagery and movement to help my students find their best sound. Most of them are high school students and don't need to know all the technical information about what is really happening. However, when I have them do something like singing out their eyes, I make a point of explaining the physical changes that that mental image helps to create. I make sure they know it is just an imagination game, not literally what happens.

So, fess up. What things do you say to your singers that they may misinterpret or mistake for actual technique? How do you go about fixing students misperceptions without saying, "Your last teacher was an idiot," or "You weren't really listening, were you?"

Also, I want to hear the wonderful quotes from your students!

Why I keep doing these practice journals

If you've been reading this blog over the last couple of weeks, you're probably wondering why I continue to post about my pathetic practice attempts. Shouldn't I be horribly embarrassed? I post because I want my students to know (and I want to remind myself) that:
1. I know it's hard to find the time and energy to practice.
2. I know that even a little bit keeps me moving in the right direction.
3. I know that there are days that I don't think I have what it takes mentally or physically to practice, but when I try, sometimes I have major break throughs and insights.
4. I know that there are wonderful moments and I want to remember those.
5. I know that showing up is half the battle.

So, if the post looks short and boring, feel free to skip it; it probably wasn't one of my good days. But, I will keep posting and when those wonderful moments come, I'll keep sharing. I also have several great blog ideas that I hope to get to soon. I don't intend for JMR Voice Notes to be just about my practicing or lack thereof).

Practice Journal 9/27/09

More memorization and listening. I know, boring post. I'm hoping my voice is up to some real work tomorrow. If not, I need to find more interesting ways of memorizing and listening and reporting about them.

Practice journal 9/26/09

More memorization and listening today. Found a spot I memorized wrong. That's why it's important to keep listening and reviewing the score even when you think you've got it down. I do pretty well with the nouns and verbs, but I really have to watch that I'm not changing articles and prepositions. Since I'm not fluent in German, sometimes it it's hard to remember which article to use.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice Journal 9/25/09

More listening and memorization. Voice is still weird today. I can't decide if it's totally allergy related or also just tired from talking so much at lessons this week. A lot of kids were sick, so we did more talking about technical things than actual singing which means my voice got a lot more use.

Practice journal 9/24/09

Did a little singing today, but my voice clearly needed rest more than practice, so once again I just have listening and memorization.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice journal 9/23/09

Worked the end of "An die Nachtigall" concentrating on solidifying memorization.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice journal 9/22/09

Did it.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice Journal 9/21/09

I had planned to do lots of practicing tonight since I was scheduled to be done with lessons at 3:15. However, I was so frazzled by that time that I went home and took a nap. So...once again, I didn't get to the singing. But, I did work on memorization and I listened to the Brahms songs again.

Practice journal 9/20/09

Mostly just sang through my songs tonight. I did stop and work a few spots, but wanted to just get the big picture.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Practice Journal 9/19/09

Have I mentioned that I love singing? Practice went well tonight and the things I've been working on are becoming more and more consistent. I took a break part way through to work on some school stuff and when I came back it was even better. I had forgotten that my voice likes to warm-up, take a break, and then get to the real work.

Practice Journal 9/18/09

The original plan for today was to stay at school after lessons and practice. But, by the time I finished all the things I couldnt' avoid, I was just too tired to try to focus with all the craziness still going on at school. Musical auditions were tonight, so there were still a lot of kids around. Instead of practicing, I came home and did a little memorization and listening. I'll try to go in to school tomorrow when it is quieter to get some practicing in.

Practice Journal 9/17/09

Good practice tonight. Nothing much special to report except that I did practice (mostly singing) for nearly an hour and a half. I also played through the accompaniment to several songs.

Flexibility

As I mentioned in a previous post, in order for me to sing my best, I need to do warm-ups that require a lot of flexibility. Flexibility is not one of my vocal strengths. In fact, if I see a song with lots of 16th notes, or bouncing around all over the place, or even sometimes slower melismas, I know that it's not going to be a good fit for me. So why do I torment myself with exercises that focus on that kind of stuff? First of all, you can't just avoid the things that are hard. Yes, my voice likes long, drawn out lines much better, but occassionally for whatever reason, you have to sing some melismas or faster notes and the exercises help prepare me for those times. The second reason these warm-ups are essential for me is that in singing all those long lines, with rich full tone, I tend to get a little heavy. Flexibility exercises keep the weight out of the voice and help me to find a high vowel placement. When I stay light and high, I can do these exercises. If I get heavy or the vowel drops, they are impossible. When I can do several flexibility exercises in a row, I know that I am warmed-up enough and that I have found the place my voice needs to be. Then I sing my long, drawn-out phrases and I can add warmth without getting bogged down.

But all of that is not the real reason for writing about flexibility. Even more important than working flexibility in my voice is working flexibility in my life and practicing. I'm loving the fact that I have so long to prepare this music. When I was in school and knew I had to sing a song for my next lesson, I would work it, even if it didn't feel good that day, and I think that led to more frustration than success. Now, I have a general plan for what I want to do in practicing, but if something isn't going well, I can move on to something else and come back at another time. Here's what happened last night:
My voice had been quirky during lessons that day, so I took about 15-20 minutes to warm-up before starting songs. I was feeling pretty good, so I decided that it might be a good day just to run through all the recital rep since I haven't done some of the songs in awhile. I started with Strauss' "Ich trage meine Minne" since it's usually the song that sets me up for good singing. It was awful. Instead of helping me find my place, it was just totallly tight. So obviously, this was not the night for a sing through.

I left the Strauss and tried a little "In quelle trine morbide" just to see how it was feeling. Even though it is harder, it worked much better. I did a work through instead of a sing through, stopping whenever I got tight. I love the B flats in this. The approaches, especially with the first one, make it so easy.

After the Puccini success, I went back to the Strauss and worked through it this time. As I checked for tension and went through my checklist of the things most likely to make it better (start in the space of the highest note of the phrase, high consonants, etc.) everything started to fall back into place.

I like to work technique and interpretation all at the same time, but there are days like yesterday that I just have to break it down to simpler components again. I had to give up the interp and thinking to the end of the line and just worry about getting the vowels to line up high.

By the time I had worked through the Strauss, I was ready for more. I worked a little on each of these songs--Dein blaues Auge, O kuhler Wald, Allerseelen, Ach lieb, ich muss nun scheiden, and Schlechtes Wetter. I also played through the accompaniment to them listening for how the piano interacts with my part. I also had some great intepretive break throughs. I figured out who I need to think about for Dein blaues Auge. It totally changed the song and I found the tonal color I was after. Those same blue eyes also made "deiner susse Blicke" in Allerseelen really click in.

If I had just become discouraged with the first bad time through the Strauss, I would have quit practicing and missed out on all those other wonderful moments. But, since I'm becoming more flexible, and go-with-the-flow in my life, I was able to let it go and move on to something that was more successful.

One more observation for the night--When I exercise, there is a moment that occurs somewhere between 30 and 45 minutes into the work-out when my body just relaxes (plus all those cool endorphins kick in). I think I have a similar thing going on with singing. If I'm struggling, but keep going and concentrating on staying loose, there is a spot somewhere after 30 minutes, where my voice quits fighting me and the beauty kicks in. So to get myself through the rough times, I just have to keep reminding myself of how much I love it when it is good.

Practice Journal 9/16/09

I finally got to do practicing that was more than just listening. In fact, I sang for 1 hour and 15 minutes today. Things started out a little rough, but it turned out to be a really good practice session overall. Watch for more details in a post that I hope to get to in the next couple of days, titled "Flexibility."

Time and changes

10 years ago, I was starting what would turn out to be my last semester as a grad student, although I didn't know it at the time. I was dealing with all sorts of health issues including hormones and neurotransmitters being completely out of whack. I suffered from a lot of anxiety, particularly when it came to singing. I loved to sing, and had a lot of respect for my teacher and wanted to sing well for her. But the more I wanted to do well, the more anxious I became and the worse things got. For several years after I left school, I would still get sick anytime I went near the university. I even had some minor anxiety when I saw my teacher this summer in a more social setting.

All that anxiety about singing and my voice teacher makes what happened tonight really funny. These first couple weeks of school are usually high stress for me as I'm trying to recruit enough students to pay the bills, but condense my schedule enough that I'm not working insane hours. I'm a little stressed this week and my anxiety is higher than has become my new norm (but no where near what it was in grad school.) So...tonight when at finished lessons at close to 7:30, I was feeling frustrated that once again, there was no way I could get in actual singing practice. My body just didn't have that kind of energy left. I was frustrated and anxious and trying to figure out how to make everything work. As I did one last email check, I turned on a recording of my teacher. Guess what happened? I relaxed. I could feel the tension release in my body as I listened to the beautiful sound. What a great way to end the day! And what a great way to bring this relationship full circle. I met her through a recording and knew that I had to study with her. I studied with her; we had our ups and downs; and I moved on. Now I'm continuing to learn from her recordings.

Practice 9/15/09

Another crazy day when all I could fit in was listening. I'm hoping to find time and energy for actual singing tomorrow.

Practice Journal 9/14/09

With lessons, listening to Freshmen, running errands, and Parent Open House, I didn't get much practice time. I did do some listening, and wrote out the words to Verzagen.

Practice Journal 9/13/09

Listened to several recordings of An die Nachtigall and worked on memorization. Also checked Holty's dates. He would not have known about Keats' "Ode" since he was dead before it was written.

I have an interesting recording of Kirsten Flagstad singing "An die Nachtigall". There are some quirky things that I don't really like, but I can't figure out if it is because of how the song fits (or doesn't fit) in her voice, or what. I think a lot of the vowels are not as lifted as I would like to hear. I have other recordings of her that I like more. I keep listening to this recording though, because even though I don't like some of what I hear, there are things I do like. Her tempo is a little slower than the other recordings I've listend to. I also like how she shapes some of the phrases and the longer notes. I love how she does "den Himmel". I also like how even though she takes the tempo slower she can get all the way through "und spend' im Nest der treuen Gattin Kusse" in one breath. Considering the opera rep she's famous for though, it's not surprising.

I also went to the school and practice for about an hour.

Oops!

As I was turning off the computer last night, I realized that although nightingales show up in several of my songs, there are none in the one that Brentano wrote the words for (O kuhler Wald). I did nightingale reasearch and Bretano research on the same night and somehow had them stuck together. Holty was who I meant in the last post (and will edit it to show that.)

Practice Journal 9/12/09

I was hoping to do a little practing at school tonight, but because of the marching band event, parking was crazy, so I skipped it.

I did listen a little this morning and tonight I read through the nightingale research. My job now is to figure out what Holty thought and knew about nightingales. For example, they use to think that it was the female that sang, but we now know it is the male singing to attract a mate. When did we figure this out? What mythology and other literary references did Holty know about? I can't remember Holty's dates. Did he know the Keats "Ode..."? What did Brahms know? More fun stuff to think about.

I'm going to write out the text tonight while I watch a movie and see how close I can get to memorized. Yes, this really does help me and it's a fun way to multi-task.

Back to school, and teaching concepts not just notes

I started a few kids with lessons this week, but most of them start next week. Hopefully then I will also write about more things than just my own practice.

I need to remember next year to tell the kids that they can sign up for audition help, after they have learned the notes. These kids are fully capable of learning the piece on their own, especially since they can watch it on youtube, so why do they expect me to teach them the notes? Because I have in the past. I've got to be tougher about this. It says in my policy that if they come to a lesson and don't know the notes and rhythms that I will teach them reading strategies and make them learn the song that way. I need to really stick to that this year. So be warned students, if you don't know your song, you will be writing in solfege and counting and I will guide you through the learning process, but I will not be just playing the notes until you know it. If you are an auditory learner, please ask for a recording and then listen at home. You will get much more from your lessons.

On a positive note, I did review some sight-reading strategies with students on the first phrase of the co-curricular audition piece. I also worked technical issues, even if they weren't sure of the notes. I also talked to them about stagger breathing in a choral setting, and how they should choose where to breathe if singing a solo. On the audition pieces for the musical, I had them come up with attitude or emotion words for each phrase. I also did video recordings of several of them so they could see if their faces were showing what they thought they were. The ones I didn't record will be recorded at their lessons early next week. I was pleased that even though I did have to pound out notes for them, I was also able to do some real teaching with every student.

Practice Journal 9/11/09

At about 2:15 I realized that I had to teach from 2:30-after 5 and then go straight to a wedding rehearsal, but I hadn't practiced yet. Definitely should have planned the day better. So I went back to school after the wedding rehearsal. I did stop and buy dinner on the way so that I at least would have some energy. I took longer to warm up than I have for awhile and that really helped. I also did more lip buzz. It helps me to loosen up and to focus on the breath.

I did some technical work on vocalises and then worked on "An die Nachtigall." The really good warm-up helped this one to start out better today. I did some work just on [i] which has been a great vowel for me lately. This song is really hard for me to keep lined up, and I think the biggest reason is all of the consonants. If I really think about how I am creating them, and keep them loose and high, it is so much better. I very clearly remember a former choir director telling us to place the consonants on the lower pitch to help us connect the notes. Maybe this works for some people, but not for me. For example, in "der liebentflammten", the r that ends the first word needs to be on the same high pitch as the l and the vowel of the 2nd world.
This song is starting to come together both technically and interpretively.

By the time I worked all that out, I was pretty much out of energy, but decided to play through "O kuhler Wald". And then I thought I'd do a quick internet search to see if anyone had written anything about Brentano's poem. Word of warning---there is no such thing as a quick internet search, at least not for me. One thing leads to another and pretty soon I realize that I've been sittting there to long and I'm in pain. Someday I hope to learn to stop before the pain. But anyway, I did find some good resources to look at more later.

Practice Journal 9/10/09

The really long post below about Die Mainacht totally counts as practice time.

I also had a good practice session after work. For warm-ups I did some of the vocalises that I want to use with my students this year. I chose them because they are easy to do on solfege, but doing them, I realized that done right, they are really great technical exercises. I hope the kids like them.

I worked a little on Verzagen and once again remembered the if the consonants are not on the pitch, that "was weinest du" is not good.

I worked the second half of Die Nachtigall and then spend way too long online looking up info about the nightingale and its symbolism. Cool stuff. I'll report more on that when I've read through all the stuff I found.

Imagery and symbols in Die Mainacht

This post may not be very organized or coherent. My interpretation is in progress and therefore, this might be more like a list of ideas instead of full sentences. It definitely won't approach scholarly paper status.



Many of you readers might be familiar with this song. If you haven't sung it, you may have studied it in a vocal lit. class or heard it sung by a favorite singer. There is also at least one really good choral arrangement of this. My point here is, I'm interested in your interpretation. You don't have to agree or disagree with my ideas, but do tell me about your ideas.



I began by making a list of key words/images that I thought would be important.

Nachtigall--nightingale. It's a song bird, but what symbolism is associated with it? It shows up in a lot of songs.

dunklere Schatten--darker shadows



Tranen (yes it needs an umlaut, but I still don't know how to do it)--tears. Why is tears the longest note of the piece and why is there a crescendo through most of that word?



Morgenrot--morning-glow. Contrast to the darker shadows of night.



strahlt--shines. Again the contrast.



shimmering light of the moon vs. morning sun--silver moon--silver is a cold color. Morgenrot is morning-glow, but in that "put two words together to make a new one" way that the Germans have, it can also literally be morning red. Red is a hot color. The color of fire, warmth.



Entzucken--enchantment, one translation also uses delight



Taubenpaar--pair of doves. Doves represent purity, peace, love, innocence. My dictionary also told me that in the Old Testament doves are also used as messengers of deliverance. I like the deliverance idea. Are the doves offering deliverance from the pain? He turns away. He doesn't want deliverance, he wants her. (Yes, I'm reading this poem from the man's perspective. I usually try to approach songs from a female perspective since I know that best, obviously, but sometimes, even when it is not explicit in the text, I just feel that it is a man and I can't make the switch. I have to become him. )



heisser--hotter. Why is the tear hot? It's hot on his cheek, so it's not like his eyes are burning from crying. Tears feel hot when the skin they touch is cold. He is cold, no longer warmed by his love, his morning sun. Which leads me back to the interpretation insight I posted about before.



Although I've never really worked this song before, I've known it for years and occasionally pulled it out for a sing-through. And I've always been puzzled as to how to convey the beauty of all the amazing nature things described and still give his pain. It's like, "Oh look how pretty everything is. Life sucks." (Bet you've never read anything like that in a German poetry paper.) While listening to one of the recordings (I'll let you guess the singer--Elly Ameling, Glenda Maurice, Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau, Janet Baker, Fritz Wunderlich, or Anne Sofie von Otter) it occurred to me that maybe I don't need to go all out in the description of the pretty stuff. I love spring, especially seeing the daffodils and brightly colored tulips, but I remember a few springs when I was really depressed. I could see the beauty and I remembered how it used to make me feel, but I felt nothing. There was none of the wonder or awe that usually comes with that beauty. I think that this is totally where this man is. He recognizes what is in front of him, but he cannot feel it. All he can feel is the loss. And I think it's not just the loss of his love, but also a little bit about losing the wonder and awe. I could be totally off base, and it may not be what that singer intended at all, but I like the idea and will work with it until something better comes along.

Practice Journal 9/9/09

Awesome practice today. And...the singing was not good. Yes, it's possible to have successful practice even when you are in a lot of pain and dealing with a lot of tension.

When I started to sing tonight, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to work the technical stuff, so I decided to take a different route. Lip buzz was not as uncomfortable as singing, and if I really concentrated, I could even make it pretty relaxed. So I worked on shaping phrases using the buzz.

Then I sat down and played through Die Mainacht while buzzing. I'll be honest, I can't begin to imagine how someone really learns and explores the music completely without being able to play the piano. They must be much better at looking at the music and hearing it in their heads. That or they spend a lot of money on pianists.

Anyway...the long hard phrase was really easy when I was playing the piano and buzzing. There are several explanations for this, but I think these are the most important:
1. I shape the phrase more with the piano part and the motion of the piano carries me though.
2. Buzz helps you to use the air better.
3. Buzz also helps me to get in a better resonance place, and I think that was the big thing tonight. If I can place those vowels higher, I'm in a better resonance place and breath is not wasted.

I also started looking at images and symbols in Die Mainacht. There is some awesome stuff in this song, but I'm tired, so I'll save that for another post.

I knew I was getting tired and it was time to quit when I came up for the title of my Recital. I was looking at all the songs in all the sets for themes and came up with this--Night and Day, Home and Away, Let us Pray. Before you panic, I do realize that that is ridiculous and I'm not using it. Remember I said that figuring out the title was how I knew it was time to quit. I'm obviously a little too far gone tonight.

Beating Burnout

Here are the notes and my goals from an MMTA session this summer on Beating Burnout. I was having issues with formatting, so it's not always clear which are my ideas and which are his. Sorry. If you have questions, I can dig out my notes.

Wow! The formatting is even worse here than it was in Word. I hope it makes sense. If I get a chance I'll come back and clean it up later.

My notes from Dr. Maurice Hinson’s
MMTA session on Beating Burnout
(and my plans for applying)
¨ Addressing the causes
¨ Lack of feeback
o Connect with choir directors more about how my students are doing in choir
o Masterclasses-give more
o Solo and Ensemble Contests-judge more
o Observe and be observed.
¨ Overly emotionally involved with students—detach, but remain sympathetic
¨ Overloaded schedule
o Schedule breaks
o Set hours and stick to it
o Think health first and then money
¨ His recommendations and how I will implement.
o Set goals in small steps
§ When students have goals to make a show, get a lead, make a choir, have them break it down into mini-goals
§ Ex. If the goal is to make Concert choir, have the students
· Break down the goal: improve sight-reading, work rudiment, mature sound, tonal memory, work ethic, tuning
· Then break each of those down further
o Improve sight-reading
§ Accurately read scale-based melodies in any key.
§ Be able to find the pitches of Do, Mi and Sol from anywhere else. Use them as anchors.
§ Integrate rhythms, pitches, and solfege.
o Encouraging motivation
¨ Contests, auditions, recitals
¨ Choose music earlier so they have time to really prepare and feel secure.
o Masterclass and Solo and Ensemble Contest music chosen first week after winter break.
o Recital rep chosen second week of March
o Change recital. Do 1 classical piece (maybe from Solo and Ensemble Contest) with the option to add 1 of another style.
¨ Computer—encourage use for research/practice
o Youtube
o Itunes
o Amazon
o Lied and song page
o IPA source
o Virtually vocal
o Smart music
o Theory games
¨ Regular opportunities for informal performance
o Continue studio class options
¨ Invite parents to sit in
o Get parents more involved. How?
o Teachers need motivation
§ Membership in professional organizations
· Look into renewing memberships in NFMC, ACDA, MENC
o Professional magazine and journals
o Continuing education
· More conferences and conventions
· Look at local options
§ Vary teaching methods
· Make more definite lesson plans
· Teach different age groups
o I will continue to accept adults and middle school students if they can come when I want to teach.
o Special events—parties, volunteer at events
§ Add Holiday party
o Social Support Systen
§ Friends
· Continue in writer’s group and meal exchange
· Facebook
§ Family
· More emails and calls
§ Colleagues
· How can we continue the brunch idea during the school year?
· Lunch—Try to keep this time lesson free. (Won’t work this year, but I will be free 7th hour when all of the other teachers have a prep.)
· Facebook, blog
o Correct mental approach
§ My health first—physical, mental, musical
§ Sympathetic, but not attached
§ Serve through love (of them and the music) without becoming their slave. I choose how and how much I serve.
§ My job is to inspire, not force them to learn.
· How can I inspire them to want to practice?
§ Be tough but fair.
o Correct physical tiredness and chronic fatigue
§ Food—make good choices
§ Exercise—daily
§ Rest
§ Keep working on increasing the number of items from the “daily list” that I do each day.
§ Schedule breaks
§ Set my schedule and stick to it.
§ Move more doing lessons
· Stretch with them
· Send them to the mirror and go with them.
· Stand up to explain concepts and sit to play.
· Use more movement with students to
o Relieve their tension
o Shape phrases
o Express
o Take time off for vacation
§ Book holiday vacation and leave before school gets out.
o Change the environment
§ Posters for the ensemble room
§ Clean up the ensemble room. It is a teaching space, not a storage room.
§ Figure out a solution for the piano tuning situation. If I have to pay for it, I’m paying for the black Yamaha and using it in the ensemble room.

Practice Journal 9/8/09

This morning I listened to six different performances of Die Mainacht as I did chores around the house. I'm very close to memorized with this. I think I've also figured out my concept for the piece. I can't wait to get over to the school and try it out. If it works, I'll tell you about it. The wonderful thing about interpretation is that there isn't just one "right" answer. Your interpretation may be different than mine, and my interpretation today may be different from the one I have 5 years from now. In fact, it should be different because of the different life experiences that we bring to music.

My practice session tonight was OK. I had errands to run, so I didn't get to the gym before practice. I think that really helped last night. I ended up working Die Mainacht in the low key tonight. I just couldn't get it loose in the high key. Then I worked a little An die Nachtigall and it didn't feel good in the regular key, so I took it a step higher. I definitely don't want to perform it in that key, but it got me above the trouble notes and it all flowed much better.

I put off working on these two songs because although I think that eventually they will really work well in my voice, these are the ones that really kick my butt technically. It's a challenge to know what is a problem because the song doesn't fit and what just needs more work. I really like these songs though, so I'm planning to really work and then get my coach's opinion when we meet next. I trust her ears completely.

I wish my students would learn that you have to do a little bit of work before I can tell how well the song will work. I'm getting better at choosing rep for my students and I'm choosing audition and contest music earlier, but if they don't practice, by the time they know it well enough to really sing it, it's too late to change if it's not a perfect fit.

Practice Journal 9/7/09

Great practice today! The day didn't start well (I hate allergies), but after an afternoon nap, I felt much better. I went to the gym first and then when over to the school to practice. My workout helped release enough tension, that when I was ready to sing, I was able to without much difficulty.

I find it funny that in order to be free enough to really stretch the long phrases I have to warm up with more coloratura exercises to get the heaviness out of my voice. Whatever works!

The Courage to Teach

Since I started my voice blog, I've spent much more time with it, and less on my other blog. Today, I have a post that fits perfectly with both, so I will be double posting (kind of like when I used the same paper for my college theatre history class and a music class.)

I just finished reading The Courage to Teach by Parker Palmer. When I was just a few pages into it, I looked back at the original publication date (1998) and wondered how I missed reading this amazing book in the 10+ years that it's been out. It's been said that when the student is ready, the teacher appears (possibly a Buddist proverb; I can't find anything definite.) And I was definitely ready for this book.

I'm not going to do a book review, since I'm sure you can find better ones elsewhere, but I am going to share some of the things that tied in very well with where I am in my life right now. On page 10 he says, "This book builds on a simple premise: good teaching cannot be reduced to technique; good teaching comes from the identity and integrity of the teacher."

Integrity has always been something I've worked for, but I feel like I'm embracing it more now. And I'm embracing it in a way that is new for me. In the past, in my life, I've tended to lean towards this definition of integrity: "firm adherance to a code of esp. moral or artistic values."
There is nothing particularly wrong with that, except that the values I was adhering to belonged to other people. The integrity Palmer talks about, and what I've been leaning towards now, is "the quality or state of being complete or undivided." It's understanding what my personal code of values is and living all parts of my life that way. It's knowing who I am and allowing that true identity to come through in my interactions with others, rather than responding the way I think they want me to respond.

Palmer also addressed the issue of paradox. We live in a society that works with either/or, black/white, yes/no dichotomies. However, much of what we know to be true involves paradox, seemingly contradictory ideas, that nevertheless are true and exist together. The concepts of justice and mercy create a paradox. How can they both exist? And yet this is the foundation on which the plan of salvation is built. Or in singing, look at chiaroscuro. It doesn't refer to somewhere between a bright and a dark sound. It refers to embracing both of those characteristics at the same time to find a balanced sound.

Finally, Palmer discusses subject-centered learning. In traditional teacher-centered learning, the teacher stands as an expert between the learners and subject. Everything the students know of the subject comes from the expert. They don't actually have access to the subject itself. He has some great diagrams you should check out if this isn't making sense the way I explain it. He instead advocates subject-centered learning, where we are all learners and have access to the subject itself. The teacher then functions more as a facilitator rather than an expert. You really do need to read his explanations on this. I'm just hoping to use this model more in my teaching. I think I've had some of it in the past. For example, I feel like I help students discover how to sing, and show them how to access their voices, rather that "teaching" them to sing.

It's a great book, so if you're looking for something to read, definitely check it out. I also recommend his book, "A Hidden Wholeness".

Practice journal 9/6/09

More listening and memorization work. I wrote out the texts several times. Writing always helps me because I'm not just thinking of the sound of the word, I'm getting the spelling right too which then makes my visual learning stronger. I'm fairly secure with the memorization on 3 of the 5 Brahms lieder now, and hope to get the other 2 down this week.

I've been listening to performances by several different artists. Today's favorite is Dietrich Fischer-Dieskau's performance of Dein blaues Auge. His interpretation is closest to how I read this song. My favorite part is how free, easy and sweet the high note is on the last phrase. He just floats it.

Practice Journal 9/5/09

More listening today. Also worked on memorization.

Practice Journal 9/3 and 9/4

Yesterday was not a good day for practicing, but I did do a lot of listening.



Today I felt a little better, but still didn't do much singing. There was a lot of tension today due to other things, and I just didn't feel like working for as long as it would take me to release it. I did record parts of Verzagen and worked on those sections. I definitely need to record my practice more, and I need to do it on days that I feel like I am singing well, not on days that I'm already struggling.

Finding my tempo

As I mentioned in a previous post, it’s taking me awhile to find my tempo on these Brahms songs. This morning I listened to Elly Ameling and was reminded just how much of the choice about tempo is determined by the kind of voice the singer has. I listened to several songs that are also on the Glenda Maurice CD I’ve been listening to. You couldn’t find two different voices, in size, color, and the way they move through the line, but I loved the performances of both women. In fact, I could listen to these two CDs all day every day.

I had the privilege of studying with Glenda Maurice. She is an artist and a magnificent teacher of the artistry of singing. Glenda is a mezzo, and in her prime, could sing a 20 minute phrase without running out of breath. OK, I am exaggerating…slightly. Honestly, her recordings of some of these Brahms songs are the slowest I have heard. However, she never loses that forward motion and movement though the line. The other thing I love and that I’m going to make my students listen to is how the vowels are always lifted. There is never a low placed or heavy vowel.

Elly Ameling uses a similar approach to the vowel placement. Everything sounds free and lifted. I have never heard Elly perform live, but I did have the wonderful opportunity of watching her give masterclasses on two separate occasions. I remember how impressed I was with her poise and presence. I also remember her stopping a student to comment on how beautiful something was (it may have even been something the pianist did). How often does that happen? Elly Ameling is a soprano with a smaller and lighter, but absolutely gorgeous voice. I would not have expected to see some of these songs on one of her recordings since I typically hear them from voices more like Glenda’s, but that doesn’t stop her from creating beautiful music. She takes a faster tempo, but never compromises the integrity of what the composer intended. And she’s wonderfully expressive.

I’m neither a Glenda, nor an Elly, and think that I will actually find my tempo somewhere between the two. I love technology and the fact that I can learn from performances that I never had the chance to hear live. Now I just need to find a way to limit my spending on itunes.



I just found a quote from Elly Ameling that totally ties in with this post. Sorry I can't give a detailed reference. My copy is a copy of an article by Robert Jacobson that was retyped. My guess is that it was in the NATS Journal many years ago.



"There is a big difference between a big sound and a carrying sound. If through coloring you make a great impression to the last seat in the house, it's as impressive as a thunderous sound. If after you hear a large voice there comes a pure, fine-colored voice, it is something special. And it's the beginning of the end for a singer like me to try stretching the voice. I try to sing only music suited to me, and there is so much I can do justice to and create. I am her in the world to make music of the great composers--as a serving task to them--not 'here I am in my glittering dress', and so on. The first thing is re-create the sound of the composer. That's my philosophy: to be a serving task. "



If you want to listen to the recordings I've been listening to, you can find them on itunes. The Elly Ameling CD is titled "Songs by Brahms" and the Glenda Maurice CD is "Songs by Brahms, R. Strauss, Mahler".

Practice Journal 9/02/09

I have several hours of lessons today, followed by Freshmen Orientation, so I'm not sure how or when I'll get time to practice. But, I committed to everyday, so I started my day by listening to a few professional recordings of some of my songs.

I actually found a few minutes between things to practice. Yeah! I worked Verzagen and the tough spots of Die Mainacht.

Practice Journal 9/1/09

Today I didn't get a chance to practice until after I finished teaching at 6:30, so I was already pretty tired to start with. I decided to work on O kuhler Wald (yes, I know there is an umlaut, but I'm not sure how to insert it here) and see if I could solidify the memorization. My allergies are bugging me, so it wasn't a great day for singing, but I did work on some technical issues as I worked on the memorization. Although the original key is usually better for my voice, today a couple places felt uncomfortable, so I worked them in the higher key to loosen them up a bit. I still haven't found my tempo for this piece yet. I like it slow, but I'm having trouble keeping the forward motion.

I also worked a little more on the long phrase of Die Mainacht. It's coming, but there is still a lot of work to do before I will feel comfortable performing that piece.

I was surprised that even though I didn't feel well tonight, once I started practicing, I was able to do more than I expected.

I also listened to a couple of different recordings of O kuhler Wald.

Practice Challenge

As I mentioned yesterday, my students have lots of excuses for why they can't practice more. And some of those are valide excuses. But, I have encouraged them to at least make some kind of contact with their music every day.



How can we encourage our students to practice more when we let work and home obligations get in the way of our practicing? Maybe you don't have issues, but I know I do. It's been said (and I don't always agree) that if you really want to accomplish something you should tell people. Being accountable to others gives you that little extra push. So, I'm telling you. With my schedule and my ever changing health situation, I can't guarantee solid, singing practice everyday, but I can do something everyday to keep me in contact with my songs and brush up on technique. Each day I'll write a report about my practice. You will find it here listed as "Practice Journal (insert date)".



Is anyone interested in joining me? You can use the comment function to report on your practicing.



I'm excited to see first, how much I grow and how much progress I make this year, and second, if my students will be at all motivated to take the challenge if they know that I am trying to do the same hard thing.

Teaching is more than just student contact time

School officially starts one week from tomorrow, but today was the first day back for teachers. The "real" teachers spent part of the day in meetings and then had professional development time. I'm techincally a "private contractor" so I didn't have to go to the meetings, but I did spend several hours getting ready for school.

Have you ever stopped to consider how much time you spend on things other than the lessons themselves? There is so much more to teaching than just showing up for the lessons. Think of the prep work, the scheduling, the invoicing, communicating with parents, etc. I spent most of my summer getting my website ready to go. Included in that time was the revising of all of my handouts and posting them on the website so that the students can download them after they login. Today I turned in all the copying that needs to be done. I'm making fewer copies of most things this year since I'm just making a classroom set that students can refer to while in lessons. Still, that was a lot of stuff to get organized.

When I attended a business seminar this summer, they reminded us to figure in all the "other" stuff when setting tuition rates. Monica K. Allen gave us this list of questions:
1. How many hours do you spend with students per week?
2. How many hours do you spend on prep time per week?
3. How many hours do you spend on administrative duties per week?
4. How many hours do you spend on marketing per week?
5. How many hours do you spend on professional development per week?
6. How many hours do you spend practicing each week?
7. How many total hours are you working each week?
8. Do your tuition rates reflect this?

I loved these questions, not just because they help me justify my fees, but because they reminded me of all the things that really do go into being a good teacher. Here's a little about how I will spend my time in each of these areas.

1. Time with Students
This is always a little tricky. I'm trying to get as many students as possible during the school day so that I don't have to stay as late at night. We'll see how that all works out. I'm shooting for no more than 40 hours per week at the school (and that includes some of the admin stuff.)

2. Prep time
This varies a lot for me, but I'd like to start spending 30-45 minutes before I start lessons warming up and getting ready for the day's lessons. Yes, warming up is prep time. Also, I did a lot of the general prepping and organizing this summer, so this time in the morning will be thinking about where I want to go with each student and how I want to approach his or her music.

3. Administrative duties
This is the one that sucks up all the time. I'm hoping that using the Music Teacher's Helper system will make the day to day business (recording attendance, payments, etc.) much quicker. Returning emails and phone calls still requires time.

4. Marketing
At the beginning of the school year I go to Freshmen Orientation and the Parent Open House to talk to people about voice lessons. We also do a day where we talk to each of the choir classes. Beyond that, I don't do much with marketing. I rely a lot on referrals to fill the after school spots.

5. Professional Development

During the 2009-2010 school year (and the following summer) I will be doing the following professional development activities:

• Preparing a recital. This process will include both long hours of my own practicing and work with my accompanist/coach.
• Attending the North Central ACDA convention in Minneapolis. It's a great time to get back into ACDA. I let my membership lapse, but I'm looking forward to getting involved again. Although I'm not currently conducting a choir, I work with choral people and need to keep involved in the choral world.
• Attending the MMTA Convention. The vocal area is small, but growing and this has been a great networking opportunity for me in the past.
• Attending the NATS Convention in Salt Lake City. I've been to 1 ICVT convention and 1 NATS Convention and loved both of them. It's such a great way to get recharged.
• I don't know if I can make the dates and work, but I would also like to attend the Classical Singer Convention.

If you're like I used to be, you might think, "I can't afford to go to conventions. They cost money and I lose money since I can't teach during that time." Both of those things are absolutely true, but it is totally worth it. I am a better teacher because of these chances to network, recharge, get new ideas, etc. It's also nice to hear "famous" people talk about the same things you tell your students every day. It's very affirming. If money is an issue, try setting aside a little from each deposit you make. Or find ways to cut expenses in other others. Just find a way and go. It's good for you and your students.

6. Practicing

This summer has been great for my own personal practice and I hope to continue that during the school year. My students are really overscheduled, but I ask them to find at least a few minutes to connect with their music everyday, whether it's listening to a professional recording, or going over the words once, or actually doing real practice. If I'm asking them to do it, I'm going to do it as well. My biggest problem is that once I get started, practicing is too much fun. Then by the time I'm done, I don't have the time or energy left to go to the gym, which I also really need to do and enjoy doing.

7. Total hours

As I mentioned before, I don't want to be at school for more than 40 hours, but I can see myself easily doing another 5-10 at home with the practicing and administrative stuff.

8. Do my rates reflect all of the above?

I wish that what I make per hour of student contact time was what I made per hour of work time. 50 hours at my rates would be awesome. I would feel comfortable charging more, but we try to keep the rates reasonable so that we can have more kids involved. We also try to stay pretty close to what the other schools in the district are charging. I think that how much you charge should reflect the things listed above, plus your education and experience, plus take into account the local economy.

How much time do you spend working outside of lessons? Do your rates reflect this?

The secret to successful memorization

There is a fool proof way to make your memorization easy and secure. Are you ready for me to reveal this amazing knowledge? Get ready. Here it is...

Find what works for you.

Sorry to disappoint you. There is not one fantastic method that works for everyone. However, that does not mean that you shouldn't try all those wonderful things that people "guarantee" will work. One of the many ideas out there or a combination of ideas will work for you. I firmly believe that people that think that they can't memorize just haven't found the right strategy yet.

So if we know that our best strategy exists out there, why do we declare we can't memorize, or stick with less efficient methods?

In Clifton Ware's Adventures in Singing, he outlines 4 basic learning modes (Visual, Aural, Kinesthetic, and Analytical) and their relationships to learning to sing and to learning music. Some people fall strictly in to one category, but most of us learn using some combination of those modes. People who are primarily visual learn best by seeing things. These students benefit from teaching styles that encourage reading, imagery, note taking, etc. Aural learners need to hear things. Some of my students can't sight-read to save their lives (we're working on that), but if they hear a melody once, they have it. Kinesthetic learners need physical motion to reinforce their learning. These are also the singers that respond best when you talk about how correct singing feels. Analytical learners like to break things down, analyze component parts, understand structure.

Understanding your learning mode or modes can be a key to helping you find your best ways to memorize. But even so, I think many people are just content to do what they have always done whether it works well or not. I give my students a handout that has more than a page of memorization strategies including ones that address every kind of learning style, but most of them just want to sing the song over and over until they think they are memorized.

I will agree that maybe for a few people, this is the most efficient method of memoriztion, but I seriously doubt that that is the case for the 98% that claim it. First of all, singing it over and over is extremely boring. Secondly, it only puts the information into your brain in one way. Where's the backup? What happens if that fails?

I encourage students to memorize using several methods. This way, if one method fails, another will step up and take care of you. For example, I'm a very visual learner and when I memorize piano music, I basically see it in my head. But what do I do if I get to a spot where all I see is a blank staff? Yes, I must admit I panic a little, but then my fingers find the right notes and go on. How can they do that? They do that because they know how that particular passages feels in my hands (kinesthetic learning), my brain also understands the chordal structure of the piece (analytical learning), and finally, I know what that passage is supposed to sound like (aural learning).

I regularly work with students with "learning disabilities". I've put the term in quotes first, because I can't remember if that is the PC term right now and second, because I believe it is an inaccurate description for most of these people. If we define a disability as not being able to do things in the "normal" way, then sure, lots of people are disabled. If we instead look at it as functioning in a different, but completely valid way I think the concept of disability melts away. Feel free to correct me if you have more education in this area or experience a "disability" yourself. My point here is that I believe that everyone can learn, but we learn at different paces and in different methods. Sometimes the pace and methods are extreme, but we are all progressing and moving forward. In my studio, a disability is not an excuse to not try, but a challenge for both the singer and teacher to find something that works and not become discouraged if the pace is slow.

That was a long introduction to the real topic of this post--my discovery of my best memorization strategy. Actually, this is the core of my strategy, but it is supplemented and reinforced with other methods as well.

I'm currently putting together a recital and as I've worked, I've discovered that I'm learning and memorizing the music so much quicker than I did when I was much younger and in school. It's been a pleasant surprise. Shouldn't young minds learn faster? Shouldn't the fuzzy thinking often associated with my fibromyalgia get in the way? How can I do this? I can do it, because I've found the approach that works for me at this point in my life. Here it is...

I learn best when I have a translation of the song before I even start to learn notes. My word-by-word translation, my IPA transcription, and my music sit side by side as I work. I play a phrase or two of the music several times, thinking the words as I play. Then I do lip buzz (AKA lip trill) on the pitches as I think the words. When the melody is secure without the piano, I sing that section. Sometimes I start with just one vowel and sometimes I use the words. If I'm having trouble lining things up, I definitely work that section on a single vowel. As I work on the technical and interpretive aspects of the phrase, I do not look at the music. If I'm struggling with a few notes of the melody, I play the accompaniment and see how the melody fits into the harmonic and rhythmic structure of the piano part. When I feel like I have a firm grasp on the notes, rhythms, words, technique and interpretation of that section, I move on to another.

Re-reading that last paragraph, it seems like quite a laborious process, but for me, it is quite enjoyable and has actually dramatically reduced the amount of time it takes me to learn and memorize a song. I'm nearly 40 and discovering new things about how I learn. I love it! Maybe it took me a little longer than it takes other people, but that's OK. It's not about how fast you progress. It's about moving forward.

So how do you learn and memorize? Please share.